Bimql chhetry.

I don't know how this happened, but I was in the vegetable section today, with my wife, and we were looking for Ambrosia Apples. I found them first and gave her a shout, "I got 'em here!" I was loud enough to be rude to the twenty-something couple who were standing in front of me, filling their bag with Ambrosias too! I should have said I was sorry, but instead, I asked, "Have you tried these? They're the bomb!" And the woman exclaimed, "They're very good!" I continued, "I cut off the tops, scoop out the insides, and stuff them with granola and honey, then I bake them." The woman asked, "But you eat them raw too, don't you? My wife had joined us by then and she piped in, "O - Def - every morning!" I faced the woman and said, "Not me, I don't eat raw apples" And she said, "Why not?" I reached up, flicked my thumbnail to my teeth with a click and said, "I've got aluminum teeth! I...

I’m a 22M and my sister is 19F. Growing up we were classic siblings, fighting over stupid things, scratching each other’s arms, then five minutes later playing Mario or stealing snacks together. She was my friend, my partner in chaos, the annoying little sister who also somehow made life fun. But somewhere in our teenage years, I drifted away from her. I got my own friends, my own world, and I stopped making space for her in it. I didn’t hate her or anything… she was just “the girl in the house” in my mind. We barely talked except during dinner. And honestly, that distance It was mostly my fault. She still tried. She’d buy me clothes sometimes. She’d start random conversations. She’d be excited to wish me happy birthday at 9AM while I sometimes forgot hers until late evening. I wasn’t rude, but I wasn’t a good brother either. Just… indifferent. Then I moved away for university, and the distance grew even more. Weeks, sometimes months without talking. Looking back, I don’t know what I ...

I never thought I’d write something like this, but I also never thought my own mother would become the villain in my life. A few months ago, my husband and I had our first child, our daughter. She’s perfect. The kind of baby that makes all the sleepless nights feel like background noise. My mom was ecstatic at first. She cried when she held the baby in the hospital and promised she would “always protect her.” I believed her. I had no reason not to. Fast-forward to when the baby was about six weeks old. I was exhausted, my husband was back at work, and my mom offered to stay a few nights to help. I thought it would be a blessing. Instead, it shattered everything I thought I knew about her. The first sign that something was wrong happened late one night. I heard the baby fussing and assumed my mom would get her because she insisted I sleep. But the cries didn’t sound right they were strained, almost muffled. Instinct made me get up. When I walked into the nursery, my mom was leaning ove...

I had a friend in high school who was a pathological liar, and he once told an incredible lie that still sticks with me to this day. So I'm going to tell the story as he told it. He claims that when he was 12, he took a test to get into a gifted youth physics program hosted over the summer at Columbia University, funded by Neil Degrasse Tyson. Because he got a 100% on the test, he got a full scholarship. During the program, he learned PhD level physics, and wrote an essay on the collision between the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies. At the end of the summer he was given a certificate that allowed him to own small amounts of low grade uranium for personal use. I first found out about this when he texted me asking if I had a centrifuge, or some sort of machine that could deplete uranium. I said of course not, why? And he said he had uranium in his basement that he needed to get rid of. As mentioned, he was a pathological liar and this was not the only lie he told, it was just the m...

I was on the bus this morning and the driver was already a little behind schedule. Right as he was about to pull away, he noticed an elderly woman slowly making her way toward the stop. Instead of leaving, he waited. Not just a few seconds he waited a full five minutes. Other passengers started grumbling under their breath. You could feel that quiet irritation people get when their routine is disrupted by anything unexpected. But the driver just said “that’s somebody’s grandma. We can wait.” The woman finally got on board, thanked him and he told her to take her time finding a seat. And the whole vibe of the bus shifted for a moment. You don’t see that kind of patience very often anymore. It really made me realize how often we treat schedules and efficiency as if they’re more important than actual people. That driver chose kindness over the clock and it genuinely mattered.

Yesterday I took my dog, Rudy, to the park so he could touch grass and I could pretend my life is on track. Rudy is tiny, fluffy, and walks like he’s the regional manager of the entire park. Meanwhile I’m behind him looking like the exhausted intern who didn’t read the meeting brief. We’re doing our usual patrol when Rudy spots a woman with another dog. And out of nowhere, Rudy sprints toward her with the energy of someone who just got approved for a huge loan. He throws himself onto her shoes like she’s the CEO of Treats Incorporated. She laughs. She kneels. She says, “He’s adorable!” And this is the moment my brain my allegedly functional, educated brain decides to run a glitchy software update. I say: “Thanks, you too.” You. Too. I basically called a stranger an adorable dog. In public. In broad daylight. With witnesses. The whole world pauses. The wind cuts out. Even Rudy freezes like, “Bro… this is embarrassing for both of us.” I try to recover with damage control that only makes...

When you can suggest for something to happen when you order food I asked if the delivery driver could say something about Warhammer. Later I hear a loud pounding at my door and the delivery driver shouted "In The Name Of The EMPEROR, OPEN THE DOOR!" When I opened the door, we both could not stop laughing and before he left, the last thing he said was "Blood for the Blood God and Skulls for the Skull Throne." And walked away. Best experience ever

Last July, my friend Luca and I went to the beach with the simplest plan ever: tan a little, swim a little, eat something overpriced, go home. Absolutely nothing ambitious. Of course, the universe loves chaos, so that plan lasted about thirty seconds. We put our towels down right next to this giant family setup. I’m talking full beach invasion mode: umbrellas, chairs, coolers, floaties, sand toys, buckets, snacks, sunscreen, and probably a backup generator somewhere. The dad was building a sandcastle like he was defending medieval Europe, the mom was running a one-woman sunscreen department, and the kids had the energy of three golden retrievers on espresso shots. Luca leaves to grab us drinks and two minutes later everything goes off the rails. The tiniest kid, this little girl with floaties bigger than her whole body, starts toddling straight toward the water like she’s on a mission from God. The dad is too busy reinforcing his sandcastle battlements, the mom is arguing with the mid...

So I work with this woman let’s call her Mindy. Mindy is rude, sometimes funny, brings muffins to the break room… and also has one VERY unfortunate habit: She picks at her privates at work. Not subtle. Not accidental. Like full “deep in thought, staring at her computer, hand wandering south like it’s clocking in too.” The first time I saw it, I genuinely thought she dropped something. Nope. That was not an object retrieval mission. And it’s always at the MOST chaotic times. Team meeting? She’s picking. Phone call with a client? Picking. Standing next to the printer? Picking like she’s digging for buried treasure. The worst part? She makes EYE CONTACT while doing it. Like girl please, I can’t survive that kind of trauma at 9 AM. The rest of us are a silent pack. We just avoid her desk like it’s a contaminated zone

A few summers ago, my friend Federico texted me saying his family was having a casual BBQ at the park near the lake. I was tired from work but thought, hey, coke, sun, burgers why not? I arrive, and immediately I’m greeted by music, laughter, and the smell of grilled meat. People are tossing frisbees, kids are running around with popsicles, and a golden retriever is chasing its own tail. Someone waves at me and hands me a coke, saying, “Glad you made it, buddy!” I take it, thinking, wow, Federico's family really knows how to treat friends. I start helping flip burgers on the grill, chatting with a man who keeps giving me tips like I’ve done this a hundred times before. An older lady keeps calling me “sweetheart” and asking me about my job. I’m nodding, laughing, and trying to look like I belong everything feels super normal. I even help set up some chairs and hand out napkins. After like 20 minutes, a little girl hands me a plate of food and says, “You’re my favorite new uncle!” I...

Last summer my best friend and I went on a short trip to the coast. It was one of those spontaneous “we need to escape our lives” weekends. We rented this tiny Airbnb, and on the second night we decided to explore the town square it looked alive, music playing, people dancing, lights everywhere. We thought, wow, what a vibe, and decided to blend in. No phones, no maps, just two chill travelers living the moment. Everyone was super friendly, and there was a big buffet table full of food. We figured it was some kind of town festival. So we grab some plates, eat, dance a bit my friend even does a little spin move with a random auntie. Everyone’s smiling, clapping, offering us drinks. We were living our best lives. Then this older guy walks up and says, “You’re friends of the bride or the groom?” My friend goes confidently, “Both!” The man nods slowly and points to the stage. “Then you should be up there they’re taking photos.” That’s when we realized we’d crashed an actual wedding. The b...

For context, please see [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/stories/comments/1m3b7tu/wife_cohabited_with_another_man_for_the_majority/) Divorce battle: [1](https://www.reddit.com/r/stories/comments/1mn790q/wife_cohabited_with_another_man_for_the_majority/), [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/stories/comments/1n73q2t/wife_cohabited_with_another_man_for_the_majority/), [3](https://www.reddit.com/r/stories/comments/1nlhjjk/wife_cohabited_with_another_man_for_the_majority/), [4](https://www.reddit.com/r/stories/comments/1o73g2b/wife_cohabited_with_another_man_for_the_majority/) # Child Custody After Paris returned to the United States in January 2024, she visited our daughter approximately every 2-3 weeks. Other than the visit on February 10th, which lasted around five hours, all other visits were only about two hours. I asked my daughter what she did with her mother during those visits, and she said they usually go for ice cream first, then go to the store and buy some stickers. According to the s...

Eight years ago I was working a customer service job that already had me burned out but one day my boss screamed at me in front of customers over something that wasn’t even my fault. Something in me just snapped. I took off my apron handed it to him and said “I’m done” Then I walked straight out the door and never looked back. Didn’t even go back for my final paycheck. It sounds impulsive but it was one of the most freeing empowering things I’ve ever done. Up until that moment I thought I had to just take it and that quitting mid shift was “unprofessional” But honestly that day taught me there’s a line between being dedicated and being disrespected. I was playing apex earlier and thought about how that single decision changed my whole mindset about self worth. It’s wild how one moment of courage can stick with you for nearly a decade. Still one of the best choices I’ve ever made.

So I was recently reminiscing with friends about dumb highschool relationships and all the silly drama that comes from them, and I felt like sharing one of the funniest experiences I'd ever had that could also serve as a life lesson. When I was in 10th grade, I started dating this girl Sarah. It was as meaningless as a juvenile relationship could get, we had nothing in common besides just wanting to be in a relationship. We dated up until the end of 11th grade, when I simply just couldn't deal with it anymore. I'll spare you all the details but the only thing worth mentioning is that jealousy was her biggest trait. She was jealous of everybody, and wanted everybody to be jealous of her. Needless to say.. that was one of the reasons I wanted to end it with her. I had enough shit going on at home and simply didn't have time for it anymore. It went about as well as you'd expect, she was screaming crying and going thru all the stages of grief over it with me. We had li...

For context- my fiance accidentally sent our officiant his draft vows, the one full of placeholders like “insert emotional stuff here” and “make her cry but not ugly cry”? Yeahhh. He promised he fixed them. But he did not. At the rehearsal, the officiant asked if he wanted to do a practice run. My man confidently steps up, opens his phone & starts reading the exact same draft. He gets halfway through “insert heartfelt memory here” before realizing, mid-sentence - what’s happening. The entire wedding party is trying not to lose it. Our officiant just sighed and said, “Well, at least you’re honest.” He is now rewriting his vows under supervision like it’s a school detention. The bridesmaids made him a folder titled “FINAL FINAL vows - DO NOT SCREW UP.docx.” If the ceremony goes anything like this rehearsal, I might livestream it for educational purposes. (And yes, I posted the original chaos on r/WeddingJokes — I feel like I owe them an update at this point)

So I (19M) recently got invited to my first gala a fancy one too I could bring one guest. At first, I wasn’t sure who to ask, but my first thought was my mom (46F) She got divorced from my dad about six months ago, and honestly, she’s been holding everything together since working, managing the house, keeping things running smoothly but she hasn’t done anything for herself in a long time. My mom’s always been this elegant, classy woman, but lately she’s been quieter, almost like she’s forgotten how to slow down and enjoy things. So, I asked her to come with me as my plus one. I half expected her to say no since I asked her just two days before the gala, and it was in the middle of the week she’s usually super busy. But she surprised me with a straight yes. She looked genuinely happy when I asked it was like I gave her something she didn’t even realize she needed. When I offered to buy her a gown, she refused, saying, “You’re already taking me to a gala, that’s special enough.” Still...

I don’t know who else to tell, or what I even expect to happen by posting this. I can’t call anyone. He’s always… around. I’m writing this on my phone, huddled in my closet, hoping the sound of the old house settling will cover the frantic tapping of my thumbs. I feel like a little kid again, hiding from monsters. The difference is, this time, the monster thinks it’s my dad. Let me back up. I’m 23. I live with my father. It wasn’t the plan, obviously. College, job, my own place, that was the plan. But the economy is what it is, and my mom passed a few years back, and he was getting on in years. He’s retired, and his pension is just enough to keep the lights on in this old house. It wasn’t a bad arrangement. I’d work my shifts at a warehouse downtown, help with bills, and he’d potter around, watch his old movies, and complain about his back. We had a rhythm. It was quiet, maybe a little lonely, but it was normal. The change was so gradual I almost didn't notice it. At first, it was...

The librarian at my local branch found out I love mystery novels. Now whenever a new one comes in she sets them aside for me before they even hit the shelf. When I walked in today she had three books waiting with a little note that said “thought you’d like these!” It’s such a small thing but in a world where everything feels automated and self checkout and “do it yourself” having someone recognize what you enjoy and act on it feels kind of amazing. Last night after playing a few rounds of stardew I kept thinking about how rare those little personal touches are now. Someone noticing you. Someone remembering you. Someone taking a second out of their day to make yours better. It’s the kind of kindness that sticks with you way longer than it probably took her to do.

So this happened a mere two months ago. It's 8:00 p.m. and I'm starving, and like any functional adult, I decide my dinner is going to be toast, specifically a single slice of rye bread slathered with an unholy amount of strawberry jam... Definitely not because that's all I had in the cupboard.... Anyways, I grab my slice of rye bread from the fridge and stick it in the toaster as you do. While I wait, I'm scrolling YouTube shorts, scrolling Instagram, scrolling Reddit, basically filling my brain with brain rot and an ungodly amount of ASMR content and cute penguin videos. Finally, which was no more than a minute in reality, the toaster slot containing my precious dinner pops up. I put my phone down an eagerly reach for my carbs, accept, there is nothing there. The slot is empty, just like my stomach. It's at this moment that I just stare. I simply cannot comprehend what reality is showing me. I lean over the counter and squint into the hot darkness. Nothing. No to...

(Reposting this here as I think it's a better fit that at r/hygiene) For some reason I was never taught to wash my ass growing up. It also felt "weird" to touch my own asshole with my bare hand, so I did not. I think I felt that wiping the ass after shitting was good enough, and it felt OK to do it because my fingers were shielded by layers of TP. We did not use washcloths in my household. Note: I am now 57. I have had a spotless anular vault for decades now, which is the only way I'm able to relate this tale of utmost cringe without collapsing in on myself. Back when I was 18 (and in the US Navy), it seemed perfectly normal to avoid that area when showering. And yes, my devil's valley was a hot mess. I would constantly get "gooey" back there, to where it felt like the molten curds of fecal gelatin would start sliding out of my shorts. My solution to this problem was to ball up toilet paper and insert a kind of "Sanitary Napkin" in there after...

So, imagine me, a young and dumb 18 year old, who for SOME reason decided being in a relationship with a 26 year old was a good idea. I needed to go on a two week trip out of state to help my sister with her kiddos while she was dealing with some medical issues. My ex is a grown man, so I naturally assume he would be able to take care of himself. I could never have been more wrong… He calls me to tell me that he’s hungry, so, being the caring person I am, I recommend a super easy dinner he could make, with minimal space to fuck it up. Instant mashed potatoes, canned green beans, and the pre-cooked chicken breasts that you can literally microwave. He asks me how to make the mashed potatoes. Now maybe I fucked up just a little bit because I told him that the instructions are on the box, all he had to do was boil the right amount of water and mix in with the right amount of instant potatoes. Simple enough right? Wrong. Here just about how that convo went down. Me: Just boil water then ad...

Literally just said, “Can you make the spaghetti? The sauce is in the fridge.” Simple instructions. Foolproof, right? Ten minutes later, she’s yelling from the kitchen like it’s a crime scene. “The water’s not boiling, should I just put the pasta in?” “Do I need to wash it first?” “Why is the sauce *cold?!*” I walk in… she’s got the spaghetti broken in half, the burner on low, and the sauce heating in the plastic container it came in. She looks at me all proud and goes, “See? I can cook too.” That was the moment I realised I didn’t need someone who thinks pasta is supposed to crunch 😌