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The night I accidentally walked into an orgy because I wanted my cooler back

A theater friend invited me to her Fourth of July party. I already had plans to see fireworks, but stopped by beforehand, brought drinks, and let her borrow my cooler. We played True American, drank, hung out. Completely normal party. I leave for the fireworks and realize after midnight that my cooler is still there. Cars are outside, lights are on, so I knock. My friend answers the door completely naked. Full disclosure: gay man here. At this point, I had never seen a fully naked woman live and in person. So I’m just like, “Oh. Okay. Hi. I’m just here for my cooler.” She drunkenly goes, “Oh yeah, it’s in the kitchen,” and leads me inside like there is absolutely nothing worth addressing here. I look into the living room. People are fucking on the floor. Shit you not. At no point was I briefed that this was to be an orgy. We get to the cooler, and I start unloading cans while my naked friend tries to help. She bends down. Tits hit me in the face. Okay. I keep unloading. She bends down...
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First time taking THC gummy

I bought these THC gummies at a dispensary, and figured I’d use them on the weekends. When I first got them, I took 1mg, and just felt like my limbs were heavy and not much else. So this time, I decided to double the dose, and take 2mg. I thought “I’ll probably just feel even more relaxed.” After about 2 hours, I was laying on one end of the couch, my sister was sitting on the other end telling a story. As she’s telling the story I realize I can’t remember the last sentence she was saying. I didn’t know what was happening, I thought my brain was shutting off and I could be dying. My sister said she looked at my face and I stared blankly at her, she asked “what’s wrong?” And I just started crying hysterically. I could get no words out. She called my dad in, I’m just laying there sobbing. My dad said “it’s just side effects of the THC, you’ll be fine.” My sister said at that time, my heart was pounding so hard she could audibly hear it. My heart was slamming against my ribs. I was convi...
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Susan Hot

So you know how Thai restaurants usually have a scale of heat for when you order? Usually ranging from “mild” to “Thai-hot.” Years ago after getting COVID and losing my sense of taste I turned to excessively spicy foods. I built up my tolerance to the point I usually have to ask someone to taste my cooking before I serve it or else I’ll be at the table happily eating while my dinner guests are gasping for breath. So going to a Thai place I always ask for my food “extra Thai hot.” Well one night when trying a new place I asked my server how hot they could make my meal and the server says to me as his face shifts to empathetically dreadful concern “We have a secret spice level named after our owner, Susan. It’s ‘Susan hot.’’’ So ask for my phat phrik khing “Susan hot.” My sever reminds me that there will be no refund if I do not like it and walks to the kitchen to put in my order. I anxiously wait for my meal. At some point the ventilation hoods in the kitchen can no longer contain the ...
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The $20 million spy cat that got instantly flattened by a cabso back in the 60s during the cold war, the guys at the cia were completely losing their minds over soviet spies. they wanted to bug russian diplomats so bad that they came up with the dumbest idea in history.

They literally spent 20 million dollars of taxpayer money to turn a regular street cat into a living, breathing cybernetic spy. The project was called "Acoustic Kitty." and honestly, it’s the most hilariously expensive fail ever. The plan was just wild. cia techs took a cat and did a brutal five-hour surgery on it. they shoved a tiny microphone inside its ear canal, hid a battery and a transmitter under the skin along its spine, and literally wove a long antenna into its fur all the way down the tail. the cat was supposed to walk into parks, sit near some russians on a bench, and beam their secret talks back to a surveillance van. But they hit a pretty obvious biological problem during testing. cats just don't give a damn about american national security. instead of spying, the cat kept walking away because it wanted to sleep, chase a mouse, or find food. Did the cia give up? nah. they just threw more millions at it. they put the cat through another surgery and literally...
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was tracing dead copper pairs in the basement of a 1970s clinic and found a handwritten maintenance log from 1989 that solved a local rumor

I work as a telecom field engineer and often do physical-layer line audits. So half of my week is spent in dull basements that haven’t seen daylight since the fall of the Berlin Wall. What to do there? I tone cables, sometimes trying to figure out which unlabelled jumper wire is keeping an oldass elevator intercom alive. Last Thursday had a task to survey a wing of a municipal clinic built in 1976. The building is scheduled for gut renovation next spring, but the admin block next door kept experiencing intermittent ground hum on their PBX trunk. Down behind the main 100-pair distribution frame in that narrow deadspace between the asbestos paneling and the galvanized cable riser, I felt something stiff. I pulled out a cloth-bound A4 ledger with marbled covers. The spine was held together with dried electrical friction tape. It was an unofficial station log kept between October 1987 and November 1991 by an on-duty technician named V. H. I know staff in this district had a half-joking le...
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a condom fell off me infront of my grandma

my girlfriend was over and we were doing some things that definitely shouldn’t involve grandma. suddenly, grandma calls down to us from upstairs saying that she has food. panicked, and without taking the condom off, i put on pants and run upstairs while my girlfriend gets her bearings. i meet my grandma at the top of the stairs and take the food and as im walking away she calls to me and tells me to come back after i put the food down. so i put the food down and come back only to be met with a condom laying on the top step. she asks me what it is and i play dumb saying something along the lines of “i must have tracked it in from outside” and my grandma then proceeds to tell me a story all the while a condom lays between the two of us. later, my girlfriend got into an argument with her parents and they went through her phone and found out that me and her were having sex. my girlfriend’s mom said she was going to talk to my grandma so i decided to talk to my grandma first. my girlfriend...
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My husband was recently hired to renovate a dead mall. He’s missing now.

I’ve wasted a lot of time trying to figure out a good way to approach this, so I’ve decided that I should just start typing. Just get a bunch of words onto the page and maybe when I read them back, something will finally click and I’ll be able to begin making sense of things. Might be wishful thinking but it’s still worth trying. I’m not sure what else I can do. So my husband, Oliver, went missing last week. Of course, it’s been a really difficult thing to try and process. Especially given how bizarre the details are. Details that seem to get more bizarre the more I think about them. On some level, it doesn’t even feel real. Best way I can describe it is like I’ve become trapped inside some fucked up television show and I’m just desperately waiting for everybody around me to drop the act so that I can snap back to reality. Waiting for Oliver to appear at our front door again and tell me that he’s fine and that everything’s alright. That this had all just been some elaborate prank. But...
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