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Indian BF accidentally gets hammered meeting my Grandma

TL;DR: Indian dude meeting GF’s gramma, thinks her Seagram’s bevs are soda, and accidentally gets drunk. Ends with Grandma petting his hair. ——— Dated a sweet Indian dude and brought him to visit my fam. Sikh guy, non-practicing, an engineer. Smoked a lot of cannabis, drank a lot of sugary/ energy bevs, but never drank alcohol. My Scandinavian grandma (in her 80s) offers us Seagram's Bay Breezes; a fridge full from Thanksgiving, encourages us to "use them up." Around the 1-hour mark, he is cracking #4, and I playfully call him "Drunkie". He immediately goes into panic mode and says, "This is a beer?! I felt so hot. I thought I was getting sick, but I'm just… so… happy!" He is hammered, grinning and saying: "My frame-rate is decreased." We're cracking up. Ends with him sitting on the floor in front of her recliner, talking about how much he loves the cows on the farm and the Mennonites’ horses. She's running her ancient hands thro...
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I wrote my coworker a note on a coffee cup. Three months later, I found out who'd been writing back.

I'm 28, and I work in a boring office in a boring building. Nothing exciting ever happens to me. Until a few months ago. One Monday morning, I was in the office kitchen making coffee. I had a bad weekend and a worse mood. On a whim, I took a marker and wrote on my paper cup: "If you're reading this, I hope your day is better than mine." I left the cup next to the sink and went back to my desk, feeling a little silly. The next day, I found a paper cup on my desk. Same style, different handwriting. It said: "It was. Thanks for the push. Hope yours gets better too." I stared at it for a full minute. Then I smiled for the first time in days. So I wrote back. And they wrote back. For weeks, we left cups for each other, always a few words, never a name. Small things like: "Favorite thing about rainy days?" "The sound. And not feeling guilty about staying in. You?" "Cold pizza for breakfast. Judge me." "No judgment. I do the same...

Costco Hates Loungers

So there I was at Costco. Minding my own business with a friend who was shopping for party supplies. I had already grabbed what I needed, while his cart had a long way to go. Earlier in the trip, we had passed a massage chair display. I decided that since I was done shopping, I’d relax in the display chair for a bit to pass the time while I wait for my friend. First of all, this chair reclined far too much. I was nearly horizontal by the time it was “in position”. I’d like it to be known, however, that I was not blocking any shopping lanes in the slightest. I even made a point of moving my cart to the nearby electronics area, which was empty the whole time I was in Costco. Secondly, the massage was awful. It felt like someone was rolling 3 croquet balls across my upper back. Really not comfortable, but I figured I’d ride it out until my friend was finished shopping. I got my phone out and began to browse Reddit. Not five minutes later, a lady walks by me and begins loudly talking wit...

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I agreed to a fake date and accidentally met my husband

A friend begged me to go with her brother to a wedding because his ex would be there and he didn’t want to show up alone. I said yes mostly because there was free food. We agreed beforehand to keep it simple. Hold hands if necessary, smile for photos, absolutely no weird fake relationship stuff. Then halfway through dinner, he leaned over and whispered, “This is going suspiciously well.” I laughed so hard I nearly spit out my wine. We ended up dancing until the venue closed. The next morning he texted, “So, when do we stop pretending?” That was five years ago. We still joke that our first date had a dress code and 120 witnesses. submitted by /u/Sea_Assist7782 [link] [comments]

Dom Tom does not lose.

I spent 5 years in prison for assault. Overall it wasn't that bad, you keep your head down and do the occasional favor like buying chips for your group and all is good. Of course there's the occasional new blood that comes in looking to start a fight for some respect or the rival gang that has one of its members disrespected looking to get even, fighting would happen at least once a week. I'd fight too for cigarettes and gym rights but when I look back on it now I regret it. Not to mention the after effects that came with it, once you start fighting in there everybody wants a shot at you to earn some respect. From what I saw thought nobody could go the distance, the second a guy started fighting he'd get picked apart by the other tough guys until he couldn't fight no more and got beat up. It was a gauntlet that nobody (myself included) could survive. You win some you lose some that's how life went in our yard... Then Tom Arrived, and everything changed. Tom sho...

I stalk people for a living. Here’s what most people get wrong about it.

I work as a stalker. Believe me or don't. And no, I don't call myself that because it sounds dramatic. It's simply the most accurate description of what I do. When I tell people about it, one of two things usually happens. Some laugh because they think I'm joking. Others start asking questions I have no intention of answering. Almost everyone imagines the same thing - some guy in a hoodie standing outside his ex-girlfriend's window at night, taking pictures on his phone and sending hundreds of messages. Reality is much more boring than that. That's exactly why it works. If the person you're watching knows you exist, you've already done something wrong. No chases. No men in black suits. No tinted cars sitting across from the same apartment building for a week. Most of the time, nothing happens at all. You just slowly learn somebody else's life. At first it seems chaotic. Then you start noticing repetition. Everyone has it. One person buys coffee from...