Yo reddit, pure chaos incoming. My bestie (25) has been drooling over dwarf dick for years: “I need to get railed by a little person, it’s my nastiest fantasy”. We laughed, until her bday — she gets wasted and begs: “Find me a dwarf escort or we’re not friends”. We did. Pro gigolo, 4'5", cocky as fuck, great reviews. Hotel room, we bounce, leave them to it for 3 hours. She comes back limping, grinning like she won the lottery: “Best dick ever. He rearranged my guts. 12/10”. Two weeks later — 3am meltdown text: “I’m late. Tits exploding, puking. We raw-dogged… he said little guys shoot blanks lol”. Tests: double lines. Gyno: preggo af. Now she’s spiraling: “50% chance the kid’s a dwarf too! How do I explain my son’s 4'2" at prom? I’ll look like I’m babysitting my own baby!!” Then 10 sec later: “But imagine… tiny toes, tiny hands, I could stuff him in my purse. Cute as fuck tho 👶🍆” She’s waiting on genetic test like it’s a lottery ticket. Options: abort or raise the ...
James and I both started working at Keystone Data Analytics in 2019, right before the pandemic. We were pretty good friends. Every Friday, we went out for drinks with a few of the other software engineers. But like most tech companies, Keystone went fully remote in 2020, and James and I lost touch. James always kept his camera off in meetings. For four years, I didn’t see his face. Then one morning, he turned his camera on by mistake. What I saw was so horrible, I’ll never forget it. “Does anyone have any blocks?” Aisha asked, during our morning standup. “The time-series graphs don’t look right,” James said. “I think there’s something going on with the date logs.” I was the one who’d written the logging code, so I told James I’d look into it. Keystone developed data analytics platforms for government organizations. We’d recently signed a billion-dollar contract to build a new platform for a CIA research project. Everything about the project was very hush-hush. We were all forced to ob...