Bimql chhetry.

So we were basically playing together not even 4 hours ago.I was on the couch lying down while he was standing up and doing silly things to me. His face was almost on top of my butt, and that's when a fart slipped out of me. It was a stinky ass fart. It went like "pufff",literary so disgusting. Mind you that it was right on top of his face. I am still so embarrassed. He was trying to play it off, but i know he was disgusted by this. submitted by /u/Careful-Bet400 [link] [comments]

I didn’t watch the actual show as a fan, I just watched clips on YouTube because it was cool seeing people sell crazy stuff and Rick being the biggest lowballer in history. Like when he gets offered Sri-Lanka coins but only offers a low price rather than millions. But bro had to do something to make money I guess. But I never caught that the show was absolutely fake as fuck until maybe a couple years ago. And I didn’t find out through articles or videos, I actually found out second-hand. (Not a joke) So I have a friend who lives not that far from Vegas, maybe a half hour drive away. He’s actually been to the Gold & Silver Pawn shop and he’s never actually seen The Old Man, Rick, Corey or Austin “Chumlee” at the store. It’s actually just workers who have actually worked there for a while. Also the store is some big attraction place and if Rick and the crew are there, it’s because they’re shooting. The funniest part is that I always thought Rick was the biggest brained historian s...

I am typing this on my phone while hiding behind a massive metal exhaust vent on the roof of my apartment building, and I am only posting this because I managed to connect to an unsecured Wi-Fi network that seems to be broadcasting directly from the new spire they installed up here. I do not know if this message will even reach the normal internet, but I have to try because the singing in the sky is getting louder, and I am struggling to fight the urge to throw myself over the ledge. Everything started exactly three weeks ago when we were still living in normal Moscow. I live with my parents in a large Soviet-era apartment block on the seventh floor, so we are very used to the government suddenly making demands or changing the rules without asking us first. My father was sitting on the couch watching the evening news, and he didn't even look up when the loud knock came at the front door, so my mother wiped her hands on her cooking apron and went to answer it. I was sitting at the ...

We have 2 children under 2 and just moved to a new house, life has been pretty hectic lately. After a few weeks, we're finally settling down and last night, after a very long week, we got both kids down around 7:45. I bought a chicken to roast with potatoes and green beans. I put everything in the oven and took a quick shower. Lured my wife into the bedroom and we enjoyed some long overdue 'relations'. Almost on que, the chicken was done when we returned. Great meal. Soon after finishing, my wife said "What a nice evening, this should be a tradition." I responded "Friday nights... Dickin' and a Chicken." submitted by /u/rtice001 [link] [comments]

I found them in the attic while looking for Christmas lights. Dozens of envelopes tied with a faded blue ribbon, all addressed to her in handwriting I didn't recognize. The postmarks were from the year before we met. I didn't open them. I sat on the dusty floor and held them for a long time, trying to decide who I was going to be in that moment. The man who asks questions, or the man who lets people keep their own secrets. I chose silence. Every birthday after that, I watched her a little closer. She'd sometimes go quiet on the anniversary of her mother's death. She'd sit by the window with a cup of tea that went cold. I told myself it was grief, and maybe it was. Last Sunday she came into the kitchen holding one envelope, the ribbon already untied. "I think you should know something," she said. Her voice was steady, but her hands weren't. She had written those letters to her first love, a boy who left for the army and never came back. She had never s...

So, I have a 5-ft schlong, and I’m just trying to learn how to live life with it. Tell you what, just tried to pee at a urinal, and it was such an awkward and embarrassing situation. Obviously, just undoing the zipper is gonna be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. So the belt comes off, the button gets opened up, the zipper goes down, and then it’s time for what I call the “big reveal.” Admittedly, it looks like someone sliced open my abdomen and my colon was hanging out in a tangled mess in my pants. I can honestly say nothing about it looks attractive. And then, you know, you just kind of have to start untangling things and searching around, and yeah, you’ll figure it out eventually. But it has to end up straight if we’re going to get the job done, cuz any knots or kinks in there, it’s just not going to happen. I’ve had this thing my whole life, so it’s not like it’s a new thing, you know. After several minutes of the most efficient untangling of my penis that I can possibl...