Worst possible colonoscopy scenario… I don’t think this can be topped

So this didn’t happen to me, but to a close friend of my wife, and I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever heard a more perfectly terrible chain of events.

She had a colonoscopy scheduled, which is already not exactly something you look forward to. To make it slightly worse, she already knew ahead of time that the doctor performing it was someone she knew from high school. Awkward, but manageable, right?

Nope. That was just the beginning.

On the day of the procedure, she’s walking into the clinic and runs into an old college boyfriend… who is there with his wife. And she is also there for a colonoscopy.

So now it’s:

   •   Her

   •   Her old boyfriend

   •   His wife

   •   And a doctor from her high school

All in the same place, for the same reason.

Still survivable… until they take her back.

Turns out the recovery/procedure area has semi-private rooms separated only by curtains. And wouldn’t you know it—her ex and his wife are placed literally right next to her.

At this point, there is basically zero privacy. You can hear everything.

Now here’s the part I didn’t know before: during colonoscopies they use air, and apparently that can lead to… very loud, uncontrollable farting during the procedure.

And according to her, she was not just a little noisy.

She said it was next-level, echoing, impossible-to-ignore levels of flatulence. Like… not subtle, not occasional—just an ongoing situation that absolutely could not be mistaken for anything else.

And all of this is happening:

   •   While being examined by someone she knew in high school

   •   With her college ex and his wife right on the other side of a thin curtain

She said there was no question they could hear everything.

Fast forward to afterward—they all end up crossing paths again in the lobby. Nobody directly says anything, of course, but there’s that unmistakable “we all know what just happened” energy… and barely-contained laughter.

She said it was one of those moments where you just want to move to another state and start over.

Anyway, I feel like this is about as close as you can get to a perfect storm of embarrassment.

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Bimql chhetry.

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