I accidentally went on a date with someone who thought I was their other Tinder match

So, a couple months ago I matched with this girl on Tinder. We had a pretty normal convo, nothing crazy, but eventually she asks me to grab coffee. Chill, right? We meet at this cute local spot, she gives me a quick hug, and right off the bat she says:

“Wow, you look even better than your hiking pics!”

Problem is… I don’t hike. Like, I don’t even walk briskly. I just nod and laugh it off.

We keep talking and she starts referencing stuff that makes zero sense. “Your dog is so cute—what was his name again? Bentley?” I don’t have a dog. Never have. Then she mentions how I told her I used to live in Colorado. Again, not me. I’ve never even been west of Kansas.

So now I’m trying to figure out if I have early onset memory loss or if she’s mistaking me for someone else entirely.

Finally, mid-latte, I ask, “Hey, just to clarify… what’s my name?”

She looks confused. “Jake?”

Friends… my name is not Jake.

We just stared at each other for a solid five seconds before she burst out laughing. Apparently, she was messaging two guys at once and mixed us up. The worst part? She said, “Honestly, I thought you were Jake this whole time but I was vibing too hard to stop.”

We ended up finishing the coffee, laughing about it, and weirdly enough… we’re still dating. She now has me in her phone as “Not Jake.”

Comments

So my wife’s going to a gala tonight — as her client’s “date.”

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The time I quit my job mid shift and walked out

Eight years ago I was working a customer service job that already had me burned out but one day my boss screamed at me in front of customers over something that wasn’t even my fault. Something in me just snapped. I took off my apron handed it to him and said “I’m done” Then I walked straight out the door and never looked back. Didn’t even go back for my final paycheck. It sounds impulsive but it was one of the most freeing empowering things I’ve ever done. Up until that moment I thought I had to just take it and that quitting mid shift was “unprofessional” But honestly that day taught me there’s a line between being dedicated and being disrespected. I was playing apex earlier and thought about how that single decision changed my whole mindset about self worth. It’s wild how one moment of courage can stick with you for nearly a decade. Still one of the best choices I’ve ever made.

I made my breast reconstruction surgeon cry with laughter

After the long process of a double mastectomy, I finally got my permanent breast implants in, and was very happy with them. As a bonus, I discovered that since they were put directly on top of my chest muscles, I could do a neat trick! I can “twerk” my breasts one at a time or together, making them dance quite vigorously! I went for my checkup and said, Hey Doc, look what I can do now…and showed off their bouncy dancing skills. He literally dropped his chart and bent over laughing until tears came into his eyes. He said I was the first patient to do that to him, and he couldn’t stop laughing the rest of the visit. I encourage other patients of this type of surgery to try it, it’s quite fun and entertaining. Edit: thanks for the kind comments and award, guess I can say I won an award for bouncing my boobies now. Note: for those who say video or it didn't happen, I get it, but I'm not going to post my boobs all over the internet!

Bimql chhetry.

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