My Coworker Who Just… Can’t Keep Her Hands to Herself

So I work with this woman let’s call her Mindy. Mindy is rude, sometimes funny, brings muffins to the break room… and also has one VERY unfortunate habit:

She picks at her privates at work.

Not subtle. Not accidental.
Like full “deep in thought, staring at her computer, hand wandering south like it’s clocking in too.”

The first time I saw it, I genuinely thought she dropped something.
Nope. That was not an object retrieval mission.

And it’s always at the MOST chaotic times.
Team meeting? She’s picking.
Phone call with a client? Picking.
Standing next to the printer? Picking like she’s digging for buried treasure.

The worst part? She makes EYE CONTACT while doing it.
Like girl please, I can’t survive that kind of trauma at 9 AM.

The rest of us are a silent pack. We just avoid her desk like it’s a contaminated zone