When I was in 10th grade, I started dating this girl Sarah. It was as meaningless as a juvenile relationship could get, we had nothing in common besides just wanting to be in a relationship. We dated up until the end of 11th grade, when I simply just couldn't deal with it anymore. I'll spare you all the details but the only thing worth mentioning is that jealousy was her biggest trait. She was jealous of everybody, and wanted everybody to be jealous of her. Needless to say.. that was one of the reasons I wanted to end it with her. I had enough shit going on at home and simply didn't have time for it anymore.
It went about as well as you'd expect, she was screaming crying and going thru all the stages of grief over it with me. We had like a week left of our school year and she made it her life's mission to make me suffer for breaking up with her. If anything, she was demonstrating exactly why I wanted to end things. Since we'd been together for so long, we had most of the same friends which she tried desperately to turn them all against me. It didn't work in her favor, and eventually she calmed down and left me alone. But over the summer, it turned out she started seeing another guy and just wanted ALL our friends to hear about it. How he was better than me in every way and just making it obvious she was only seeing other dudes to hurt me. But I'll be completely honest.. I was relieved to know she was going out with someone else. Not just because I'm a chill guy like that.. but I really thought it would make her give up on me and just go be a girl. But things can never go our way, I suppose.
Anyway, the summer before our senior year went pretty decent. I was single and enjoying the party life. Our friends felt more comfortable about hanging out with us again, even though they were absolutely tired of her and her drama at this point. She was still dead-set on making me jealous with her new boyfriend, and it just wasn't working.. which was only making her more desperate for things to go her way. So during the last week of summer, one of our friends was having a party and Sarah just concocted this master plan to make it about herself, by expressing fear that I'll try and fight her new boyfriend for... some reason. Just playing the victim card and demanding that I not go to the party because of it. She was one of those types that just loved the idea of men fighting over her. Thankfully they all knew me well enough to know I wasn't gonna do anything, I was there for my friends, not her. I'm not sure why they just told her not to come, but as you're about to learn.. it's a really good thing she did end up going.
So on the night of the party, people were mostly afraid of what she was gonna do and it was pretty much agreed that they all had my back no matter what. She shows up with her boyfriend and would just be all over him whenever I was nearby. I just paid her no mind and went back to drinking with the boys. In all honesty, her boyfriend was a chill guy.. I kinda felt bad for him because she was using him just to hurt me, even if it wasn't working.
Anyway, it's near the end of the night and most of everyone had gone home. There were just a couple of us sitting around, drunk as shit. You know.. juvenile delinquent things. Sarah and her boyfriend are on the couch across the room from me, and she's trying all she can to get under my skin. Kissing all over him, making him kiss all over her, basically dry humping the poor guy in front of everyone. All the while she's looking at me out of the corner of her eye, just dying to see me get jealous about it. Spoiler alert : I wasn't.
So I'm sitting there, drinking the last of my 4 Loko and that's when I hear a loud ass, wet ass burp.. and Sarah gasping with horror. We all look over, and it turns out that while forcing her boyfriend to make out with her, he just vomited directly in her mouth and it spewed all over her chest. He recoils back and tries to cover his mouth, but it doesn't work. He just sprays more vomit all over her, his hand just adding more pressure to the stream and making it spray all over our friend's living room. She's sitting there covered in puke, and just starts crying.. and I'm just laying there on the floor laughing my drunk ass off. Not just because people puking is funny to me, but also the situation. I've never been one to wish harm on people, but there really is something satisfying about seeing your crazy ex drenched in her new man's puke while sobbing her eyes out. Not to mention that it was all because she just HAD to prove a point that nobody cared about. She made that bed for herself and oh boy.. was she sleeping in it.
As the new year of school started, she was immediately known as the girl who got puked on at a party and nobody let her live it down. As mean as kids can be, it was definitely karmic. I'm sure that wasn't lost on other people too, she has a reputation. She thrived on drama and making people feel like shit, so I'm sure it humbled her a bit. Whether if it did or not, she never tried to start drama with me again and I ended up having a chill last year of high school. This may be surprising, but she eventually broke it off with that guy. From what I've heard, she's married now and you know what? I'm happy for her.
But all teen bullshit aside.. I do believe there's a valuable life lesson here. If you're gonna go out of your way to hurt someone's feelings, just don't.
Comments