UPDATE: My puppy turned my vibrator into a family helicopter... but somehow we survived and I’m not moving countries anymore (25F)

1 part: [https://www.reddit.com/r/stories/comments/1rdcjei/my\_puppy\_turned\_my\_vibrator\_into\_a\_family/](https://www.reddit.com/r/stories/comments/1rdcjei/my_puppy_turned_my_vibrator_into_a_family/)

Hey everyone, OP here. First off holy shit thank you for all the comments, awards, and virtual hugs over the last week. You guys literally carried me through the worst embarrassment of my life. I was legit considering changing my name and fleeing to Canada.

So things have actually turned around in the most unexpected way.

Day 4 of me hiding in my room like a gremlin. Mom knocks softly, says “honey we need to talk… but not like that.” I open the door a crack, ready for the lecture of the century. Instead she’s holding a cup of tea and looking amused? Turns out Dad had been avoiding eye contact with everyone, but Mom sat him down and basically said “she’s 25, she’s single, it’s a normal thing, get over it.” Dad mumbled something about “didn’t need to see it at breakfast” but then admitted he was more embarrassed for me than anything.

Brother still teases me mercilessly but now it’s affectionate. Calls me “Helicopter Girl” and makes buzzing noises when I walk by. I hate him, but I also love him.

The real plot twist: Puppy. That little chaos demon. After the incident he kept bringing me “gifts” socks, my hair ties, one of Dad’s slippers like he knew he fucked up and was trying to apologize. Yesterday he curled up in my lap while I was crying-laughing at your comments, and just stayed there. Mom walked in, saw us, and goes “see? Even he’s sorry.” Then she hugged me and whispered “next time put it in the drawer, sweetheart.” No judgment, just mom energy.

We had family dinner last night. First time I left my room properly. Everyone pretended it never happened until brother fake-coughed “bzzz bzzz” and we all cracked up. Even Dad chuckled (red-faced, but chuckled). Mom poured extra wine and said “life’s too short to die of embarrassment over a toy.”

So yeah. I’m not moving countries. Balcony privileges restored. Puppy gets extra treats for emotional support. And I finally bought a lock for my bedroom door.

Comments

So my wife’s going to a gala tonight — as her client’s “date.”

I’m 44 and my wife is 44. She works on an art advisory committee, so attending galas, events, and client meetings is part of her job. She often meets clients for coffee, lunch, or dinner, and I don’t always know the details and that’s completely normal because it’s part of her work. She’s always professional, transparent about her friendships, and I trust her judgment completely. Recently, she mentioned she’s going to a gala with a friend, S. He’s a wealthy client she met about a year ago, and they became friends professionally. She introduced me to him once, and he seems like a genuinely good person. He invited her as his “date” to this gala, and my wife said it’s fine. I did ask her though, if she’s actually going as a “date,” and she just laughed and said, “Date doesn’t always mean romantic.” She said it’s important for her she could get networking and meet new people. Then she smiled and said, “If I get into this gala next time, I won’t need to take that man with me, I’ll take you...

The time I quit my job mid shift and walked out

Eight years ago I was working a customer service job that already had me burned out but one day my boss screamed at me in front of customers over something that wasn’t even my fault. Something in me just snapped. I took off my apron handed it to him and said “I’m done” Then I walked straight out the door and never looked back. Didn’t even go back for my final paycheck. It sounds impulsive but it was one of the most freeing empowering things I’ve ever done. Up until that moment I thought I had to just take it and that quitting mid shift was “unprofessional” But honestly that day taught me there’s a line between being dedicated and being disrespected. I was playing apex earlier and thought about how that single decision changed my whole mindset about self worth. It’s wild how one moment of courage can stick with you for nearly a decade. Still one of the best choices I’ve ever made.

Update- My fiance’s “vows disaster” just hit rehearsal day & it got worse

For context- my fiance accidentally sent our officiant his draft vows, the one full of placeholders like “insert emotional stuff here” and “make her cry but not ugly cry”? Yeahhh. He promised he fixed them. But he did not. At the rehearsal, the officiant asked if he wanted to do a practice run. My man confidently steps up, opens his phone & starts reading the exact same draft. He gets halfway through “insert heartfelt memory here” before realizing, mid-sentence - what’s happening. The entire wedding party is trying not to lose it. Our officiant just sighed and said, “Well, at least you’re honest.” He is now rewriting his vows under supervision like it’s a school detention. The bridesmaids made him a folder titled “FINAL FINAL vows - DO NOT SCREW UP.docx.” If the ceremony goes anything like this rehearsal, I might livestream it for educational purposes. (And yes, I posted the original chaos on r/WeddingJokes — I feel like I owe them an update at this point)

Bimql chhetry.

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