[UPDATE] I Thought If I Just Froze Like a Statue, My Neighbor Wouldn't See My Junk

[UPDATE] I Thought If I Just Froze Like a Statue, My Neighbor Wouldn't See My Junk – Spoiler: We're Going on a Date

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original here: [https://www.reddit.com/r/stories/comments/1ra38ah/i\_thought\_if\_i\_just\_froze\_like\_a\_statue\_my/](https://www.reddit.com/r/stories/comments/1ra38ah/i_thought_if_i_just_froze_like_a_statue_my/)

Guys… I’m still shaking but in a good way now?? It’s been like 2 day since the Great Balcony Betrayal and I’ve been avoiding the balcony like it’s radioactive. Every time I hear her door open I duck like I’m in a war zone. But yesterday morning I’m taking out the trash in full paranoid mode (hoodie up, eyes down) and boom — she’s right there at the bins too, holding a recycling bag, looking unfairly cute in oversized sunglasses.

She sees me, smiles this tiny, knowing smile and goes, “Hey… survived the heat wave?”

I freeze again (old habits die hard), face instantly tomato-red, and manage to squeak out, “Y-yeah… mostly. You?”

She laughs — not mean, just soft and warm — and says, “I’ve been wondering if you were ever coming back out. Thought maybe I scared you off forever.”

Internal screaming: SHE NOTICED I WAS HIDING.

But then she adds, quieter: “For what it’s worth… it was kinda funny. And honestly? Endearing. In a chaotic-puppy way.”

I died, resurrected, died again. Somehow my mouth says: “So… not moving to Antarctica then?”

She grins: “Not yet. But if you ever want to redeem yourself, I’m free this weekend. Coffee? Or a walk? No balconies required.”

I said yes so fast I almost choked on my own spit.

Tonight I’m gonna text her and actually ask her to go for that walk. Heart rate is already illegal. If she says yes I’m buying her the biggest gelato as apology + bribe. If she says no… well, I’ll just live in the hallway closet from now on.

Pray for me, reddit. This is either the start of the cutest meet-cute ever or the fastest way to get a restraining order. Wish me luck — I’m finally leaving the apartment.

Comments

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