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Girlfriend lied for months and now I am homeless

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Merry Christmas to me. What was supposed to be a life changing point for the good is now a huge nightmare. Me (45 M) and her (44 F) have had a long distance relationship for going on three years. There were talks of her moving to be with me (15 hours away) for nearly a year, but when I was laid off in July (pending a 2 year contract in which I must stay with the company remote to earn my severance), we decided six months ago that I should move there. For the last six months I have been making arrangements. I sold my house in a bad market and barely broke even. I sold or gave away most of my possessions. I had a full three bedroom house and now literally everything I own fits into a Honda HRV. Fast forward to Christmas break and it is finally time for me to move. I have been sending her Xmas gifts for months in anticipation. We have talked daily about all of our plans. I was supposed to start driving yesterday and the night before she tells me that there is a problem. She tells me that her ex (6 years split and 16 years divorced …yes there is a story for that too) has decided he wants her moved out of the house by Jan 5th since I am coming and that he will be moving in. They supposedly had the conversation about me moving months ago.

I was furious. I bit my tongue and told her to use $2000 of what we had in order to hire and attorney because he failed to refinance the house from their divorce paperwork 16 years prior and her name was on the mortgage, plus she had been paying on it for years….or so I thought. She is a substitute teacher and money is always tight (I had no clue how tight and this woman has always helped me when needed, no questions asked).

It turns out she was having money problems and had her ex move back into the house in late August to help financially. He gave up his place just to do it. She never said a word or I would have tried to help.

For months we have been going back and forth dreaming of the day that I would finally move. With my son now an adult and responsible to be on his own without fear of me needing to be close by in case something happens, I sacrificed everything to choose to be happy with my girlfriend.

So my car is fully packed and I am ready to leave, when my girlfriend tries to pin the blame on her ex. I am on the phone with lawyers, pulling her divorce paperwork, and doing everything I can to help her. I get a hotel room and tell her I will delay my trip a day or two while we get things in place.

I was exhausted with worry and was up all night two nights prior making arrangements. My girlfriend tells me she ordered the divorce paperwork and scheduled and appointment with the lawyers I provided her. She is being quiet and after a few hours of no communication, I pass out from pure exhaustion.

At 12am I wake up to the 2,000$ I had sent her and no messages. I immediately call her because this can’t be possible. She tells me the truth, that he had been helping her for months and I can’t come there. She can’t find a reasonable apartment that will allow her 3 cats, not to mention this entire thing will upend her teen son’s life. Here I was angry at her ex, when she never even told him I was coming until 2 days ago. She made had him give up his life to help her. Her response was that she never thought I would really give up everything to be there with her and now I also have given up everything to be with her.

So here I am at 3:30am in my car, homeless, alone, in shock by the entire situation, and crushed because the life I had been planning has been overturned and the life I had is also mostly gone.

I just can’t. How can someone do this to someone else that they care about?

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