So anyway. I’m walking home from class with a smoothie in one hand and my headphones in, and I cut through this sketchy little park because it saves me like four minutes. I hear yelling, barking, and then this full-on dog fight breaks out like five feet from me.
Two dogs. Medium size. One looks like a boxer mix and the other is just… rage with fur. No leashes. No collars. No humans. They're actually fighting, like biting each other, rolling around, growling like hellhounds.
Nobody else is doing anything. There’s a guy filming. Some lady’s screaming but not moving. So I do the dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my life: I yell “HEY” and literally just launch my smoothie cup between them. It explodes. They both stop for like half a second.
That’s all I needed.
I take off my hoodie and start trying to separate them like I have any idea what I’m doing. I’m yelling “No!” like that’s gonna help. Somehow, I manage to wedge myself between them. Boxer dog backs off. Rage dog keeps growling but stops lunging.
Then finally, this guy runs up and is like, “Oh my god, are those your dogs??” I’m like, “No?? Are they yours??” And he goes, “No, I just thought someone should do something.”
Cool. Thanks, man.
Animal control shows up 20 minutes later. Neither dog is chipped. No one claims them. They ask if I want to press charges?? Against who?? The wind??
Anyway. They take the dogs in. I go home smelling like sweat and blood and strawberry banana protein sludge.
Next day, I get a call from the shelter. They say both dogs are physically okay but kinda traumatized. They ask if I want to “foster temporarily since I made contact first.” I’m like no thank you I literally eat cereal for dinner and cry during pet food commercials.
But I go in anyway. Just to “check on them.”
The rage dog (they named him Chili) immediately tries to climb into my lap. Boxer mix (now Tofu) just flops over like a rug and sighs.
I’ve had them for six days now.
My apartment smells weird. My couch is dead. I’ve spent $72 I do not have on chew toys and beef-flavored toothpaste. I had to cancel a date because Chili gets separation anxiety and literally screams if I’m gone too long.
But yeah. I guess I have dogs now.
I didn’t mean to adopt anyone. I was just trying to drink a smoothie and not die.
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