So this happened last year. I was working as a bartender in this kinda fancy bar in LA where a lot of people come to show off. You get influencers, actors, TikTok people… that kind of crowd. One Friday night, this guy comes in with a girl. He looked like some Hollywood dude. Tall, kinda flashy, wearing expensive shit, beard perfectly trimmed, just screaming “I think I’m important.” The girl he was with was one of those types that look like they live on Instagram. She didn’t say much. He, on the other hand, was being loud and acting like he owned the place. Demanding a table that was already reserved, talking down to waitresses, trying to be funny but really just being a jerk. Then he said something to my coworker (who’s really sweet btw) like: Are your hands good for anything other than pouring drinks? She just looked shocked. I saw red. I told him, Yo man, maybe treat people like people, not like background extras in your life. He gave me that look like, you don’t know who you’re tal...
Note: Prior to any of this happening, I broke down and started crying in front of her and our friend, kinda whimpy huh?
sitting at one of these tables near the
library where people can study or do homework on. I had already planned
to talk with her if she had the time, and in fact she did. When I
approached her, she was reading a book which was quite small in size. As
she looked at me, she beamed with pity and asked if I was okay today. I
nodded and asked her if she wanted to talk, she said yes. Our
conversation started with her telling about her day, and I've always
found her stories entertaining, possibly the way she tells them are
amusing and cute (she tells them really quickly). She told me that at
her rehearsals (she's in a play right now), she had a ball of a time
hitting a little girl (cough The Miracle Worker cough).
There were a lot of people around us in groups and I didn't want to
tell her near any of these people, so I asked her if she wanted to walk.
I stayed quiet we walked across the main hallway, never interrupting
her except with some playful remarks (like saying the word "frankly" too
much). We got to the end of the massive main hallway of the school, and
took a right to the art wing. We both stopped at the display case with
some intense looking drawing and bead-art. We both admired the art and
even talked about this one guy who's art is in the display case. She
talked about how he was such a backstabbing asshole to her (I didn't
really see that in him to be honest). She rambled on about bead-art and
dance class after that. I knew I had to confess to her. As much as she
was really fucking awesome and beautiful, I know she just wants to be
friends. I've always had this weird feeling/philosophy that if I lose a
good friend, I'd lose part of myself. I didn't really care about dating
her anymore, It's been a year and I barely made a move on her.
I remembered asking her out to the homecoming dance, she rejected me, says she just wants to go with her friends. I was totally okay with this until I found out at the dance, she went with another guy. Because of this, and other reasons, every time I look at her, I'd get so cheerless because I knew I'd never get to have her, and she'll never know I have a crush on her. This sadness is what prompted me to cry in front of her and our friend. There were many other decisions before it came to this. I had listed some ways I might possibly forget about her. Running away, avoiding her throughout school, even committing suicide. It came down to confronting her and telling her.
As soon as I said I had something to tell her, I froze there, motionless. She was staring at me with her goddamn beautiful eyes as every muscle in my body tensed up. We stood there staring at each other before she interrupted it with a cute smirk, giggle, and apology. So I told her. In a very soft, very quiet and shy voice.
"I...like you...I like you and...I...think you're an extremely beautiful girl."
An epitome of silence filled the empty hallway of the art wing, the only sound I was able to hear were the clique of freshman boys in the main hallway screwing around. I stared down at my feet, awaiting an answer, I never know what's she's going to say because of how unpredictable she is. Shame took over my body and I couldn't bring myself to look at her. She finally said,
"First of all, thank you, no one has ever said that to me, but, I only like you as a friend."
I knew she was going to say it all along. A small wash of relief came over me and my muscles started to feel less stiff. I looked at her with a little smile,
"I-I assumed so. I liked you for a year now, remember when you asked me if I wanted to play D&D with you?"
She pointed at me and pursed her lips,
"Yeah, I picked up on that, a bit."
We continued talking after that, my body started to relax the more we talked. We both had this tendency to stray from our topic of conversation. We somehow went from my confession to our teammates in our bowling team and how my feelings can radiate to other people, to Star Wars, then to cracking Star Wars jokes, then to the new Deadpool poster, and how that it's making it seem like a romantic comedy. I soon lost track of our conversation and the bell rung. We parted ways to our classes, and I felt relief and happiness inside me, something I haven't felt for almost a year.
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