“Nobody should get to make the decision to end their life.” The words escaped his lips with such conviction that, for a moment, I almost envied him. There was something revolting about the certainty in his voice. Not the words themselves, perhaps, but the ease with which he could say them. But, perhaps that’s what kept him alive, the conviction, the belief, the dedication that nobody should get to end any life because of the repercussions it has on others. “Is that what’s keeping you alive?” It took me a few minutes to cough out, a live debate in my head. I didn’t care what was keeping him alive, I was just curious. But curiosity is what kills the cat. He seemed taken aback by the question. For a moment, the certainty that had filled the room just seconds earlier appeared to falter. “It’s one of the reasons, the others are more complex.” he said. I wondered whether he had expected me to accept that answer. Whether he thought it was enough. I didn’t dig deeper. I didn’t want to find out his other reasons. I didn’t want to entertain them for myself. It was strange, listening to someone explain why they stayed when I couldn't understand how the reasons could possibly outweigh everything else. I could see why he wanted to live, and perhaps there were reasons for me to live too, I just don’t want to. It’s not that I can’t recover, it’s that I don’t want to. I drew my knees up to my chest, putting a physical wall between his hope and my reality. It was for the best. He seemed to notice the silence that had settled between us. After a moment, he reached for a nearby card game, shuffling through the cards as though it were the most natural thing in the world. “Fancy a game?” I looked at him, then at the cards. Perhaps he was trying to lift the mood. Perhaps he didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t blame him for that. There was something almost absurd about it, sitting there after a conversation about life and death, being offered a card game as though the world hadn’t briefly stopped turning. But I took a card. submitted by /u/sumoiser [link] [comments]
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