My cousin got married.....2hr15min late. I got a call asking can I pick my cousin, the groom's daughter up from the hotel and bring her to the ceremony. I'm like of course, love her she's sweet and like 9 then. I leave my house an hour before the ceremony is supposed to start to get to the hotel. I get to the hotel 45min until ceremony. Knock on door and someone opens it. I see my little cousin....who is in pajamas. Im freaking out as where is her dress. She's supposed to be a flower girl in her dad's wedding. At this moment the bathroom door swung open. The bride is just getting out of the tub....45min before her wedding 😐 (30min drive to the building btw). She tells me her mom accidentally took the girl dress. Which i dont understand how an adult sized woman confuses a small 9 year old dress for hers but ok. She says her mom has the dress there already, i tell cousin let's go to get you changed. The bride then tells her 10 year old daughter bye. Im like where is she going 👀. She says oh she's going with you. Now I have never met her daughter a day in my life, don't even know her name. She then goes, and please don't get her dress dirty 😑. Whatever let's just go! We finally get there 15min before the start time.They forgot to cut the air on the night before so it was hot af. Like I could feel sweat dripping down the inside of my thighs. The brides mom is walking around putting out food and clearly not wearing a bra. I asked for the dress and get my cousin changed. I then asked the mom why isn't she dressed. She said oh her dress is still at the hotel....I just left 🤦🏾♀️. I ask why didn't her daughter tell me to bring the dress with me? No answer. For 2 hours people are just walking around. My cousin and the brides mom also get into an argument about a chair for some reason. My aunt, the mother of the groom, bless her, was going through menopause and having hot flashes. She spent the bulk of the time with her head in the freezer in the kitchen. While this is going on, the brides family chooses this time to block off all the seats at the front except one luckily. So my aunt was able to sit there. The wedding finally starts (mind you we have no idea why its being held up, didn't get that info until later). The first guy walks in to light the candles (idk if thats just a black thing or not), there are 2 stands that both have about 7 candles on each. The guy lights ONE candle on each stand and then walks tf off and leaves. My uncle is the pastor looks at me and my cousin like wtf?!? He then whispers "I know im old and yall are going to have to bring me into the new age, but what was that". Me and my other cousin are both like 🤷🏾♀️ cause we are also confused. Moving on. The colors for the wedding were lilac. The flower girls come down in the darkest purple and im just like mmmkay. During this time both my cousins enter from outside. No idea where they had been waiting. My cousin who is the best man goes 🤨🧐 when he sees the flower girls, cause ya know, lilac. Finally the bridal party enters, they dance down the aisle 😐. And it was awful. Finally they start talking. My uncle is reading whatever it is they read. He gets to the line that asks if anyone objects. (It should be noted that the bride does not like my family. They kinda blocked a lot of the seats, which left my mom and one of my aunts sitting around a corner not being able to see). So my uncles goes does anyone have a reason these 2 should not be wed, if so speak now or forever hold your peace. No one said anything. My uncles who is the pastor goes " really?!? Nobody?!? Sherri?!?! (My mom)". Everyone is like what, omg 😂😂. My uncle continues going "i guess". They make it to the part where they ask her " do you take this man.." she goes "I guess". My uncle stares at her, raises his voice and goes " we are doing this one time and one time only, I said..." continues to repeat himself. My uncles is the nicest person you could ever meet so this was all shocking. While all this was going on I kept noticing my cousin who was a best man squirming, im like mmmkay thats weird. They finally kiss its over. Well because the bride hates my family, and even though they could've gotten married for free at our church she decided she wanted to be married at a random building. So they march out, and come right tf back with an entrance like we didn't just see them. The bride is crying saying people are doing it wrong, no idea what that is. Also, weirdly at this time my other uncle and other cousin ask the cousin next to me to borrow her car to go get something, no idea what as we were in the middle of no where. He then calls as the bride is boohooing saying they made it .5 miles down the road and her bumper randomly fell of her car. Oh and remember the food the brides mother sat out before hand? Yep still there 3 hrs later, in the heat, with flys. At this point I leave as its hot and im just over everything. I finally was able to talk to my cousin who was the best man and ask him wtf happened. In addition to finding out my mom didnt hear my uncles remarks or she said she wouldve just drug him out of there and we all couldve left. Well of course the wedding was late because of the bride poor time management. I ask where were they the entire waiting. He said they just sat in my other cousins car the entire time in silence like 😐. He didn't know why they were late and didn't want to chance the groom running off so he just didn't speak. I then ask why was he so squirmy during. Apparently the wife wanted to show off that my cousin purchased an engagement ring, wedding ring, and band. She told the best man to bring all three so she can put them all on at the wedding. He spent the entire time trying to hold them together, cause of course if he dropped them they'd go in 3 different directions. That was the last wedding either of us have been to. submitted by /u/Visible_Attitude7693 [link] [comments]
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