Costco Hates Loungers

So there I was at Costco. Minding my own business with a friend who was shopping for party supplies. I had already grabbed what I needed, while his cart had a long way to go. Earlier in the trip, we had passed a massage chair display. I decided that since I was done shopping, I’d relax in the display chair for a bit to pass the time while I wait for my friend. First of all, this chair reclined far too much. I was nearly horizontal by the time it was “in position”. I’d like it to be known, however, that I was not blocking any shopping lanes in the slightest. I even made a point of moving my cart to the nearby electronics area, which was empty the whole time I was in Costco. Secondly, the massage was awful. It felt like someone was rolling 3 croquet balls across my upper back. Really not comfortable, but I figured I’d ride it out until my friend was finished shopping. I got my phone out and began to browse Reddit. Not five minutes later, a lady walks by me and begins loudly talking with her husband as she passes. “I can’t believe that there are people who just lounge around Costco”. What? Why did she feel the need to loudly proclaim her disgust for me and my behavior. I looked back at her, prepared to say something, but I ended up just letting her walk on by. I declined my chair and sat up. I ended up grabbing my cart from electronics and shopping with my friend. I let her win. But why was she so upset? Was she jealous of the (admittedly horrible) massage I was getting? Maybe she thought this was my plan for the day? Like I’d planned a block of my day out to lounge around Costco. Sometimes I think lounging around Hell itself could be a better experience than the average Costco trip. If you read this random lady. Congratulations. You ruined the worst massage of my life. I hope the next massage you get leaves you with a crick in your neck that doesn’t work itself out for three whole days. -Costco Lounger submitted by /u/redxephos27 [link] [comments]

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So my wife’s going to a gala tonight — as her client’s “date.”

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The time I quit my job mid shift and walked out

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Bimql chhetry.

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