Costco Hates Loungers

So there I was at Costco. Minding my own business with a friend who was shopping for party supplies. I had already grabbed what I needed, while his cart had a long way to go. Earlier in the trip, we had passed a massage chair display. I decided that since I was done shopping, I’d relax in the display chair for a bit to pass the time while I wait for my friend. First of all, this chair reclined far too much. I was nearly horizontal by the time it was “in position”. I’d like it to be known, however, that I was not blocking any shopping lanes in the slightest. I even made a point of moving my cart to the nearby electronics area, which was empty the whole time I was in Costco. Secondly, the massage was awful. It felt like someone was rolling 3 croquet balls across my upper back. Really not comfortable, but I figured I’d ride it out until my friend was finished shopping. I got my phone out and began to browse Reddit. Not five minutes later, a lady walks by me and begins loudly talking with her husband as she passes. “I can’t believe that there are people who just lounge around Costco”. What? Why did she feel the need to loudly proclaim her disgust for me and my behavior. I looked back at her, prepared to say something, but I ended up just letting her walk on by. I declined my chair and sat up. I ended up grabbing my cart from electronics and shopping with my friend. I let her win. But why was she so upset? Was she jealous of the (admittedly horrible) massage I was getting? Maybe she thought this was my plan for the day? Like I’d planned a block of my day out to lounge around Costco. Sometimes I think lounging around Hell itself could be a better experience than the average Costco trip. If you read this random lady. Congratulations. You ruined the worst massage of my life. I hope the next massage you get leaves you with a crick in your neck that doesn’t work itself out for three whole days. -Costco Lounger submitted by /u/redxephos27 [link] [comments]

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So my wife’s going to a gala tonight — as her client’s “date.”

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The time I quit my job mid shift and walked out

Eight years ago I was working a customer service job that already had me burned out but one day my boss screamed at me in front of customers over something that wasn’t even my fault. Something in me just snapped. I took off my apron handed it to him and said “I’m done” Then I walked straight out the door and never looked back. Didn’t even go back for my final paycheck. It sounds impulsive but it was one of the most freeing empowering things I’ve ever done. Up until that moment I thought I had to just take it and that quitting mid shift was “unprofessional” But honestly that day taught me there’s a line between being dedicated and being disrespected. I was playing apex earlier and thought about how that single decision changed my whole mindset about self worth. It’s wild how one moment of courage can stick with you for nearly a decade. Still one of the best choices I’ve ever made.

I made my breast reconstruction surgeon cry with laughter

After the long process of a double mastectomy, I finally got my permanent breast implants in, and was very happy with them. As a bonus, I discovered that since they were put directly on top of my chest muscles, I could do a neat trick! I can “twerk” my breasts one at a time or together, making them dance quite vigorously! I went for my checkup and said, Hey Doc, look what I can do now…and showed off their bouncy dancing skills. He literally dropped his chart and bent over laughing until tears came into his eyes. He said I was the first patient to do that to him, and he couldn’t stop laughing the rest of the visit. I encourage other patients of this type of surgery to try it, it’s quite fun and entertaining. Edit: thanks for the kind comments and award, guess I can say I won an award for bouncing my boobies now. Note: for those who say video or it didn't happen, I get it, but I'm not going to post my boobs all over the internet!

Bimql chhetry.

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