Skip to main content

The night I accidentally walked into an orgy because I wanted my cooler back

Thumbnail
A theater friend invited me to her Fourth of July party. I already had plans to see fireworks, but stopped by beforehand, brought drinks, and let her borrow my cooler. We played True American, drank, hung out. Completely normal party. I leave for the fireworks and realize after midnight that my cooler is still there. Cars are outside, lights are on, so I knock. My friend answers the door completely naked. Full disclosure: gay man here. At this point, I had never seen a fully naked woman live and in person. So I’m just like, “Oh. Okay. Hi. I’m just here for my cooler.” She drunkenly goes, “Oh yeah, it’s in the kitchen,” and leads me inside like there is absolutely nothing worth addressing here. I look into the living room. People are fucking on the floor. Shit you not. At no point was I briefed that this was to be an orgy. We get to the cooler, and I start unloading cans while my naked friend tries to help. She bends down. Tits hit me in the face. Okay. I keep unloading. She bends down again. Tits slap me in the face again. I’m thinking my gay ass must be in the Twilight Zone. How is this the end of my night? Anyway, the cooler was emptied and retrieved, and we’ve never spoken about it since. Thoughts? lol submitted by /u/kovachrome [link] [comments]

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

So my wife’s going to a gala tonight — as her client’s “date.”

I’m 44 and my wife is 44. She works on an art advisory committee, so attending galas, events, and client meetings is part of her job. She often meets clients for coffee, lunch, or dinner, and I don’t always know the details and that’s completely normal because it’s part of her work. She’s always professional, transparent about her friendships, and I trust her judgment completely. Recently, she mentioned she’s going to a gala with a friend, S. He’s a wealthy client she met about a year ago, and they became friends professionally. She introduced me to him once, and he seems like a genuinely good person. He invited her as his “date” to this gala, and my wife said it’s fine. I did ask her though, if she’s actually going as a “date,” and she just laughed and said, “Date doesn’t always mean romantic.” She said it’s important for her she could get networking and meet new people. Then she smiled and said, “If I get into this gala next time, I won’t need to take that man with me, I’ll take you...

Update- My fiance’s “vows disaster” just hit rehearsal day & it got worse

For context- my fiance accidentally sent our officiant his draft vows, the one full of placeholders like “insert emotional stuff here” and “make her cry but not ugly cry”? Yeahhh. He promised he fixed them. But he did not. At the rehearsal, the officiant asked if he wanted to do a practice run. My man confidently steps up, opens his phone & starts reading the exact same draft. He gets halfway through “insert heartfelt memory here” before realizing, mid-sentence - what’s happening. The entire wedding party is trying not to lose it. Our officiant just sighed and said, “Well, at least you’re honest.” He is now rewriting his vows under supervision like it’s a school detention. The bridesmaids made him a folder titled “FINAL FINAL vows - DO NOT SCREW UP.docx.” If the ceremony goes anything like this rehearsal, I might livestream it for educational purposes. (And yes, I posted the original chaos on r/WeddingJokes — I feel like I owe them an update at this point)

The time I quit my job mid shift and walked out

Eight years ago I was working a customer service job that already had me burned out but one day my boss screamed at me in front of customers over something that wasn’t even my fault. Something in me just snapped. I took off my apron handed it to him and said “I’m done” Then I walked straight out the door and never looked back. Didn’t even go back for my final paycheck. It sounds impulsive but it was one of the most freeing empowering things I’ve ever done. Up until that moment I thought I had to just take it and that quitting mid shift was “unprofessional” But honestly that day taught me there’s a line between being dedicated and being disrespected. I was playing apex earlier and thought about how that single decision changed my whole mindset about self worth. It’s wild how one moment of courage can stick with you for nearly a decade. Still one of the best choices I’ve ever made.