Either Your The Smartest Drug Dealer I Ever Met Or…

Many years ago I was in the middle of a very nasty Custody battle. My kids mother was unstable to start with, then she started taking drugs which made her go off the edge. while at work I stepped outside to smoke a cigarette. There was a Police Officer walking around my truck. I asked if I could help him. Officer replied that someone called in a report that a person was observed putting something on the truck then driving away. I knew immediately what was going on. My ex had previously vandalized my truck and my house. She left what she thought were drugs on my porch and under my rear bumper and under the gas flap. The woman who sold her the “Drugs” told me that the brown powder in the small plastic bags was Coco powder and the White powder was crushed drywall. They were portioned out so it would appear that I was selling them. The Marajuana was real, and I never found out what the white pills were. She told me this because they had a falling out shortly after they both got released from County Jail. She charged my ex $400. My Attorney advised me to carry copies of the Police Reports in case it happened again. There were so many I had them in a binder. I showed the Officer the previous reports, he advised me to go to nearest Sub Station and request a drug dog to check my truck. At the Sub Station I explained the situation and waited for the K-9 unit . Two ratty looking guys came and stood in front of my truck giving me a look like they hated me. I thought they were just guys who needed to be at the Station. The dog alerted at my rear bumper, they found Marajuana. The two guys looked happy, but still giving me dirty looks. I asked if I could help them. Both of them identified themselves as Police Officers working Narcotics. They were called for me. I explained again and showed them the binder. The shorter Officer didn’t believe me. The Officer said “ Either your the smartest Drug Dealer I ever met, or you got a crazy Bitch on your Ass” I asked why I would be the smartest Drug Dealer. He replied that if drugs were found in my truck I had already set up an excuse why they were there. I never thought of that. The taller Officer said “ He has a Crazy Bitch on his Ass”. I got Custody. submitted by /u/No_Expression6660 [link] [comments]

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So my wife’s going to a gala tonight — as her client’s “date.”

I’m 44 and my wife is 44. She works on an art advisory committee, so attending galas, events, and client meetings is part of her job. She often meets clients for coffee, lunch, or dinner, and I don’t always know the details and that’s completely normal because it’s part of her work. She’s always professional, transparent about her friendships, and I trust her judgment completely. Recently, she mentioned she’s going to a gala with a friend, S. He’s a wealthy client she met about a year ago, and they became friends professionally. She introduced me to him once, and he seems like a genuinely good person. He invited her as his “date” to this gala, and my wife said it’s fine. I did ask her though, if she’s actually going as a “date,” and she just laughed and said, “Date doesn’t always mean romantic.” She said it’s important for her she could get networking and meet new people. Then she smiled and said, “If I get into this gala next time, I won’t need to take that man with me, I’ll take you...

Update- My fiance’s “vows disaster” just hit rehearsal day & it got worse

For context- my fiance accidentally sent our officiant his draft vows, the one full of placeholders like “insert emotional stuff here” and “make her cry but not ugly cry”? Yeahhh. He promised he fixed them. But he did not. At the rehearsal, the officiant asked if he wanted to do a practice run. My man confidently steps up, opens his phone & starts reading the exact same draft. He gets halfway through “insert heartfelt memory here” before realizing, mid-sentence - what’s happening. The entire wedding party is trying not to lose it. Our officiant just sighed and said, “Well, at least you’re honest.” He is now rewriting his vows under supervision like it’s a school detention. The bridesmaids made him a folder titled “FINAL FINAL vows - DO NOT SCREW UP.docx.” If the ceremony goes anything like this rehearsal, I might livestream it for educational purposes. (And yes, I posted the original chaos on r/WeddingJokes — I feel like I owe them an update at this point)

The time I quit my job mid shift and walked out

Eight years ago I was working a customer service job that already had me burned out but one day my boss screamed at me in front of customers over something that wasn’t even my fault. Something in me just snapped. I took off my apron handed it to him and said “I’m done” Then I walked straight out the door and never looked back. Didn’t even go back for my final paycheck. It sounds impulsive but it was one of the most freeing empowering things I’ve ever done. Up until that moment I thought I had to just take it and that quitting mid shift was “unprofessional” But honestly that day taught me there’s a line between being dedicated and being disrespected. I was playing apex earlier and thought about how that single decision changed my whole mindset about self worth. It’s wild how one moment of courage can stick with you for nearly a decade. Still one of the best choices I’ve ever made.

Bimql chhetry.

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