My wife has been secretly homeschooling our daughter a completely different religion for three years. I found out from my own kid.

I need to explain this carefully because it still doesn’t feel real to me. My wife, we’ll call her Melissa, has handled most of our daughter’s schooling since we made the decision to homeschool when she was seven. I work long hours, she manages the curriculum, and I trusted that completely, because Melissa has always been organized and thorough about everything.
Our daughter is ten now. Last weekend, we were at my parents’ house for Sunday dinner, which has always included grace before the meal, standard stuff we’ve done her entire life. My daughter, out of nowhere, asked if she could say a different kind of blessing instead, one she said she “always says at home.” Then she recited something none of us had ever heard before, in a tone like it was completely normal, something she’d clearly said hundreds of times.
My mom looked at me, confused. I looked at Melissa. Melissa’s face went pale.
Later that night, I asked my daughter more questions, gently, trying to understand what I’d just witnessed. She told me, completely casually, that she and Mom do “real school stuff” in the mornings, and then in the afternoons they do “spiritual studies,” which involved specific readings, specific practices, and specific beliefs entirely different from the faith Melissa and I had always practiced together as a couple.
I confronted Melissa immediately. She admitted everything. Three years ago, she’d quietly started exploring a different belief system on her own, something she’d never once mentioned to me, and instead of ever bringing it up, she began incorporating it directly into our daughter’s homeschool curriculum, every single day, for three years, without me knowing any of it was happening.
She said, and I am quoting this exactly, “I didn’t think you’d understand, so it was just easier to keep it separate.” Separate meaning hidden. Separate meaning our daughter has spent three years being raised, in part, on beliefs I never agreed to, never discussed, and never even knew existed in our own house.
I asked her how she managed to hide something this significant for three straight years. She said she simply used the mornings for anything I might ask about or check on, and kept the afternoons, when I was always still at work, for everything else.
I am not upset about the specific beliefs themselves. I’m upset that my wife made a fundamental decision about how our child is being raised, spiritually and educationally, and ran an entire secret curriculum under my own roof for three years rather than ever including me in the conversation.
We are currently sleeping in separate rooms while we figure out what happens next. Our daughter has no idea any of this is a problem, since to her, this has simply been normal life the entire time.
So tell me, is this a conversation we can actually recover from, or did hiding this for three years already answer that question?
Follow for the update, because Melissa just said there’s more I don’t know.