Bounced my face off the pavement today. (true)

Working on some creative animation stuff, having a great day, decided to go for a bike ride to pick up something for supper. Ended up at Jimmy Johns, about 10 blocks away, got a giant sandwich, left a couple dollars for a tip, put sandwich in backpack, started biking home.

Nearly home, stood up on bicycle and started cranking to speed to a stoplight that had just turned green when "pop", my chain flies off, foot hits the ground (because I was cranking hard on the pedals), bike turns sideways instantly and my face BOUNCED HARD off the asphalt.

No traffic on the road I was coming from, still 50 feet from the stoplight I was rushing towards. Lip is very swollen, one of my front teeth is painful if pressed on, but not loose. Forehead and nose have cuts, bloody knee, bloody elbow.

Walked the bike the last three blocks, came inside, showered, used some bactitracin on the wounds and put on gauze pads with surgical tape I have had in my medicine cupboard forever. I live alone in my apartment so I had no one else to dress the wounds. I don't know that I have ever hit my head that hard before.

Elbow was bleeding big glob drops of blood so that was a bit concerning.

I feel very lucky I didn't lose a tooth on the spot. Front teeth cut up my inner lip quite badly.

The cherry on top was now I feel I should wait a few days before chewing anything, so my giant sandwich will have to sit in the fridge uneaten. I am sipping on a protein drink as I write this, wondering how many days until the tooth is no longer tender to the touch. All other teeth seem unaffected, just the left front tooth is sensitive.

After working all week, this is not how I was planning to spend my Saturday night, but It's a lesson to have compassion for anyone who has a bad day, I guess.

I'm really hoping this doesn't have any lasting effects like CTE. The worst part is that that bike chain has popped off before, I was in a good mood and daydreaming a bit, then I saw the light turn green and started pumping the pedals like I did in my youth. Had I not been in such an impulsive mood, I would have considered that the chain popping off was a serious hazard and the accident could have easily been avoided.

Comments

So my wife’s going to a gala tonight — as her client’s “date.”

I’m 44 and my wife is 44. She works on an art advisory committee, so attending galas, events, and client meetings is part of her job. She often meets clients for coffee, lunch, or dinner, and I don’t always know the details and that’s completely normal because it’s part of her work. She’s always professional, transparent about her friendships, and I trust her judgment completely. Recently, she mentioned she’s going to a gala with a friend, S. He’s a wealthy client she met about a year ago, and they became friends professionally. She introduced me to him once, and he seems like a genuinely good person. He invited her as his “date” to this gala, and my wife said it’s fine. I did ask her though, if she’s actually going as a “date,” and she just laughed and said, “Date doesn’t always mean romantic.” She said it’s important for her she could get networking and meet new people. Then she smiled and said, “If I get into this gala next time, I won’t need to take that man with me, I’ll take you...

Update- My fiance’s “vows disaster” just hit rehearsal day & it got worse

For context- my fiance accidentally sent our officiant his draft vows, the one full of placeholders like “insert emotional stuff here” and “make her cry but not ugly cry”? Yeahhh. He promised he fixed them. But he did not. At the rehearsal, the officiant asked if he wanted to do a practice run. My man confidently steps up, opens his phone & starts reading the exact same draft. He gets halfway through “insert heartfelt memory here” before realizing, mid-sentence - what’s happening. The entire wedding party is trying not to lose it. Our officiant just sighed and said, “Well, at least you’re honest.” He is now rewriting his vows under supervision like it’s a school detention. The bridesmaids made him a folder titled “FINAL FINAL vows - DO NOT SCREW UP.docx.” If the ceremony goes anything like this rehearsal, I might livestream it for educational purposes. (And yes, I posted the original chaos on r/WeddingJokes — I feel like I owe them an update at this point)

I accidentally went on a date with someone who thought I was their other Tinder match

So, a couple months ago I matched with this girl on Tinder. We had a pretty normal convo, nothing crazy, but eventually she asks me to grab coffee. Chill, right? We meet at this cute local spot, she gives me a quick hug, and right off the bat she says: “Wow, you look even better than your hiking pics!” Problem is… I don’t hike. Like, I don’t even walk briskly. I just nod and laugh it off. We keep talking and she starts referencing stuff that makes zero sense. “Your dog is so cute—what was his name again? Bentley?” I don’t have a dog. Never have. Then she mentions how I told her I used to live in Colorado. Again, not me. I’ve never even been west of Kansas. So now I’m trying to figure out if I have early onset memory loss or if she’s mistaking me for someone else entirely. Finally, mid-latte, I ask, “Hey, just to clarify… what’s my name?” She looks confused. “Jake?” Friends… my name is not Jake. We just stared at each other for a solid five seconds before she burst out laughing. Appare...

Bimql chhetry.

Search This Blog