quick recap: I planted mint three years ago because it was described as a “perfect beginner plant”. right now it feels like I accidentally introduced a self-managing life form into my yard
today my neighbor shows up looking extremely serious, like he already prepared the verdict on my entire gardening career, he silently walks me over to his garden and there it is my mint growing inside his beds in neat clusters like it moved in and registered residency
I’m trying not to laugh because it doesn’t even look like it “spread” anymore, it looks like it organized an expansion campaign, he starts listing casualties: his dill is gone, his beetroot looks off, his potatoes are acting suspicious, and I’m standing there realizing this sounds like a frontline report and my mint is basically the main actor in the conflict
I say something like “it’s just a bit aggressive” and immediately regret it because “a bit aggressive” is exactly what you call something after it’s already taken territory, at some point he says it’s either a fence or a specialist, and I almost replied that specialists are probably already too late and the mint would just outpace them anyway
honestly I’m just standing there laughing while also realizing I’ve become the guy whose mint is causing neighborhood-level diplomatic incidents
if it shows up near the local store next I’m just going to assume it’s part of a city greening initiative at this point
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