For the life of me I cannot understand how people can like the taste of coffee

I’ve tried to like coffee. I really have. I feel like at this point I deserve some kind of participation trophy for effort alone. I mean I’ve tried it with sugar, with milk, and with creamer. I’ve tried it hot, iced, cold brew, drowning in chocolate, and even with ice cream.

Nothing works. I cannot make myself like the taste of bean water, ok?! My taste buds hate coffee so much so that if Dunkin’ makes my hot chocolate in the same machine as the coffee, I will not be able to drink it.

People talk about coffee like it’s the nectar of the gods or the fuel of civilization that keeps society from collapsing before noon. And yet, one sip for me and it's like my taste buds just stepped on a Lego. At this point, I’ve accepted that my relationship with coffee can only best be described as grounds for separation.