TIFU: Gave my bestie a dwarf gigolo for her bday… now she’s knocked up and scared of birthing a pocket-sized gremlin 😂🍆

Yo reddit, pure chaos incoming.
My bestie (25) has been drooling over dwarf dick for years: “I need to get railed by a little person, it’s my nastiest fantasy”. We laughed, until her bday — she gets wasted and begs: “Find me a dwarf escort or we’re not friends”.
We did. Pro gigolo, 4'5", cocky as fuck, great reviews. Hotel room, we bounce, leave them to it for 3 hours. She comes back limping, grinning like she won the lottery: “Best dick ever. He rearranged my guts. 12/10”.
Two weeks later — 3am meltdown text: “I’m late. Tits exploding, puking. We raw-dogged… he said little guys shoot blanks lol”.
Tests: double lines. Gyno: preggo af.
Now she’s spiraling:
“50% chance the kid’s a dwarf too! How do I explain my son’s 4'2" at prom? I’ll look like I’m babysitting my own baby!!”
Then 10 sec later: “But imagine… tiny toes, tiny hands, I could stuff him in my purse. Cute as fuck tho 👶🍆”
She’s waiting on genetic test like it’s a lottery ticket.
Options: abort or raise the world’s shortest legend (and hunt the gigolo for “height tax” child support).
I’m just the idiot who booked the hookup.
Am I the villain or the ultimate wingman?
Send prayers, condoms, or dwarf memes. This bitch might actually birth a travel-sized fuckboy. Update when the DNA drops 💀🤏

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So my wife’s going to a gala tonight — as her client’s “date.”

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The time I quit my job mid shift and walked out

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Bimql chhetry.

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