Not 100% sure if this is allowed but story time

I am a 32-year-old female with a beautiful baby boy just shy of 2 years old. Today, I went to our local coffee shop because I found out that one of my girlfriends was working there. We got to talking, and I ordered my son a lavender latte (really it was just the lavender cream with warm milk). I have to admit that my son distracted her a little bit because he's so cute and talkative that she steamed the milk a bit too much, so she put it in the cooler behind her to cool down, which was fine. My son and I had absolutely no place to go today, so we shared a little croissant. This is where the story turns - a guy from high school came into the shop. This guy was one of those guys who thought he was God's gift to women but doesn't know how to treat them right, and even in high school, I turned him down. So, what do you think he did the moment he saw me out? If you guess he tried to ask me out, try to hit on me, or any of the variants in between, you would be correct. I was polite about turning him down, telling him I'm married, I'm a mom, I'm not interested. And then he had the audacity to tell me, 'Well, you're ugly anyway, no one would want to f*** you.' I don't know what came over me; it was just like this calm washed over me. I looked at him dead in the eye and said, 'That's not what your mother said last night, or your father, or your sister, or your brother - we had a whole family meeting without you.'

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So my wife’s going to a gala tonight — as her client’s “date.”

I’m 44 and my wife is 44. She works on an art advisory committee, so attending galas, events, and client meetings is part of her job. She often meets clients for coffee, lunch, or dinner, and I don’t always know the details and that’s completely normal because it’s part of her work. She’s always professional, transparent about her friendships, and I trust her judgment completely. Recently, she mentioned she’s going to a gala with a friend, S. He’s a wealthy client she met about a year ago, and they became friends professionally. She introduced me to him once, and he seems like a genuinely good person. He invited her as his “date” to this gala, and my wife said it’s fine. I did ask her though, if she’s actually going as a “date,” and she just laughed and said, “Date doesn’t always mean romantic.” She said it’s important for her she could get networking and meet new people. Then she smiled and said, “If I get into this gala next time, I won’t need to take that man with me, I’ll take you...

Update- My fiance’s “vows disaster” just hit rehearsal day & it got worse

For context- my fiance accidentally sent our officiant his draft vows, the one full of placeholders like “insert emotional stuff here” and “make her cry but not ugly cry”? Yeahhh. He promised he fixed them. But he did not. At the rehearsal, the officiant asked if he wanted to do a practice run. My man confidently steps up, opens his phone & starts reading the exact same draft. He gets halfway through “insert heartfelt memory here” before realizing, mid-sentence - what’s happening. The entire wedding party is trying not to lose it. Our officiant just sighed and said, “Well, at least you’re honest.” He is now rewriting his vows under supervision like it’s a school detention. The bridesmaids made him a folder titled “FINAL FINAL vows - DO NOT SCREW UP.docx.” If the ceremony goes anything like this rehearsal, I might livestream it for educational purposes. (And yes, I posted the original chaos on r/WeddingJokes — I feel like I owe them an update at this point)

I accidentally went on a date with someone who thought I was their other Tinder match

So, a couple months ago I matched with this girl on Tinder. We had a pretty normal convo, nothing crazy, but eventually she asks me to grab coffee. Chill, right? We meet at this cute local spot, she gives me a quick hug, and right off the bat she says: “Wow, you look even better than your hiking pics!” Problem is… I don’t hike. Like, I don’t even walk briskly. I just nod and laugh it off. We keep talking and she starts referencing stuff that makes zero sense. “Your dog is so cute—what was his name again? Bentley?” I don’t have a dog. Never have. Then she mentions how I told her I used to live in Colorado. Again, not me. I’ve never even been west of Kansas. So now I’m trying to figure out if I have early onset memory loss or if she’s mistaking me for someone else entirely. Finally, mid-latte, I ask, “Hey, just to clarify… what’s my name?” She looks confused. “Jake?” Friends… my name is not Jake. We just stared at each other for a solid five seconds before she burst out laughing. Appare...

Bimql chhetry.

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