Skip to main content

The story of the doctor who became a multi-millionaire by sewing monkey testicle slices into people. I wish I was joking.

Thumbnail
So I fell down the weirdest history rabbit hole last night and I honestly can’t believe this isn’t talked about more often. We always romanticize the 1920s as this sophisticated era of Gatsby parties and class, but it turns out the richest men in the world were literally lining up to get monkey junk sewn into them.

​There was this Russian-French surgeon named Serge Voronoff. He wasn't some back-alley crackpot, he was actually a highly respected doctor who studied under Nobel prize winners. But he had this obsession with aging. He basically decided that the reason men get old and tired is because their testicles stop working as hard (I guess?). His solution wasn't vitamins or exercise. No, his big idea was to take testicles from baboons and chimpanzees, slice them extremely thin like carpaccio, and graft them onto the testicles of human men.

​The logic was that animals have this raw, primal energy, and by attaching a piece of that "essence" to a human, the human would absorb the youth. And the craziest part is that people bought it. Hook, line, and sinker.

​Voronoff became an absolute celebrity. He performed thousands of these surgeries. We’re talking about world leaders, ultra-wealthy industrialists, and politicians paying the equivalent of a house to get this done. He got so rich he rented out an entire floor of one of the most expensive hotels in Paris with his entourage and eventually bought a castle. He even had to set up his own monkey breeding farm in Italy because he was running out of chimps. Imagine being a neighbor to that castle.

​The funny thing is, it "worked" for a while. It was basically the most expensive placebo effect in history. These guys would walk out of the clinic with a sliced chimp ball in their sack and feel like absolute kings. They claimed their memory was sharper, they had the energy of a 20-year-old, and obviously, they bragged about their performance in the bedroom. Biologically, it was nonsense—the human body usually rejected the tissue and it turned into scar tissue within months—but the ego boost was enough to convince them it was working. There was even a cocktail named after the procedure called the "Monkey Gland" that you can still order in some old-school bars.

​It honestly makes you think about all the biohacking stuff we see today. Like that tech millionaire Bryan Johnson who was swapping blood with his son recently? We like to think we're so much smarter now, but honestly, humanity hasn't changed at all. Rich people are still terrified of dying and they will pay any amount of money if you sell them a good enough story about eternal youth. It’s just wild to think that huge decisions in the 1920s were probably made by guys sipping brandy who secretly had a piece of a baboon inside their pants.

​Anyway just wanted to share because it blew my mind that this was considered peak science back then. Definately makes you wonder what medical trends we do now that people will laugh at in 100 years.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Cinematic Masterpiece: 'Halkara' Deserves More Recognition

 So, the weekend is almost over and Sunday is always special to me. In a sense, I was always wandering, taking myself on a trip to the valley. This story is quite different and interesting. In the middle of my journey, I felt ready and motivated to write about it, so here it goes. This story is about a single movie that inspired me to write. I had no plans to watch a Nepali movie called 'Halkara,' which had recently been released. As I passed by midtown, I wasn't prepared to watch it, but I found myself at the ticket counter buying a ticket for myself. When I bought the ticket, there were only five people who had booked the show, and all the seats were empty. The show was scheduled to start at 12:30 pm, and I entered the hall. Finally, the movie started. I cannot describe how amazing the cinematography, storyline, characters, acting, and overall vibe of this movie were. I still can't believe that this movie didn't receive a good response from...

Fall in love with me.

 In every moment, through highs and lows, my love for you remains unwavering. No matter what life throws at us, I want you by my side . Let's face everything together, carry each other's burdens, and keep our love strong Whether times are good or bad, I selfishly want you by my side. I just want us to stay together in 2024, like we used to, filled with love and adventures. We know the timing wasn't great, so let's be patient and wait for things to get better. Our connection, first kiss, and love experiences are special. I've never been as comfortable with anyone else as I am with you. Everything we do together feels new and exciting. We both know finding something like us is rare. I don't know how many times you've ignored my messages, but at least I am an older than you. I feel a responsibility to make you happy or correct some of your immature thoughts. Sometimes, being older is a good option. All I'm going to say is I love you and I will. Ignore me, b...

To the person who read this

To the person who read this, It’s been hard for you, I know, and it makes me sad that you don’t see yourself in the way I see you. Sometimes they are things in life that cause us to loose ourselves, and the way you have is so unimaginable painful. I miss your smile, the way your eyes light up the whole room just by the sound of your laughter. I miss the way you accepted the way you look in the mirror without cursing yourself out about how ugly you look. I miss the way you didn’t think of yourself as a failure because everyone makes mistakes, we all have flaws and we all aren’t perfect. It’s painful to see that no one around you seems to see the pain trough your eyes, but, stranger, I do, I see how heavy your heart is and how comforting the sadness for you might be, how afraid your heart is of happiness because it disappears in the end, right? You don’t know how much impact you have in this world and it’s sad to see that your demons fight against you and want to take over you. Because y...