"My closest encounter with the mafia is I went to a starkly empty pizza place in Rhode Island once, they seemed utterly confused that I wanted a pizza, it took 45 minutes to make, they gave it to me for free, and it was the best pizza I've ever had"
Now here's my story:
I'm a Chicago Cubs fan, but have lived in the Pittsburgh, PA area all my life. Earlier this season, when the Pirates were in Chicago, I decided to go to a sports bar to watch the game. Specifically one I've driven past a bunch but never given a try. Pittsburgh Sports Bar in Castle Shannon. I went in there about 5-10 minutes before first pitch, in my Cubs gear, and there was one woman tending the bar, with an old couple sitting at the end of the bar. They both stared at me as I came in, as if I was an alien. Figured it was because I was wearing opposing team's gear. No greeting or anything. I sat myself down and just waited for the game to start, but I realized that the old couple and bartender were deep in conversation, and they were fixated on each other.
I walked up to the bar to try and order food. There were no menus, napkins, salt, pepper- anything on the table indicating there was food served there. As I started talking to the bartender, I noticed there was no bottles, taps, or ANY alcohol behind the bar at all. It was just a bunch of random Pittsburgh sports memorabilia. VERY random things too. Nothing really followed a theme. As well as a bunch of signs saying things similar to "if you're easily offended, get out." and the like. When I was talking to the bartender, the old couple was just staring at me blankly. She told me she'd be right back out with the menu, and she was in the back room for a good 10 minutes or so before bringing me a menu. Really odd.
But I ordered anyway, I ended up getting a pizza slice and a wing and fry basket combo. It was ridiculously cheap, I paid like $6 for all of it. And the pizza slice was massive, there were a dozen, huge wings, and the basket of fries was giant. Felt like anywhere else, this would have costed well over $20. The food was done in just a few minutes, and it was brought out to me by the bartender. What's weird is, she went into the kitchen, or what I presume to be the kitchen, to seemingly cook it herself? I got a glimpse of the "kitchen" when she opened the door and it was almost completely empty. There were no cooks. No sounds of ovens, or fryers, or anything. The wings were REALLY, REALLY good. So were the fries. Easily the best wings and fries I've ever had. The pizza was immaculate as well. It was almost too good. As soon as I got my food, more people started coming in. Some very strange individuals, too. I was watching the game by this point, but would frequently side eye and observe what was going on.
I was at the table closest to the door and by the biggest TV, but everyone else that came in sat at the very end of the bar- as far away from me as possible. Them, the old couple, and the bartender just were nonstop talking, and talking very quietly. I could not make out what they were saying. They all looked like statues. Never changed facial expressions even when talking. Completely straight faces. None of them ever ordered anything at all. It was more like a social than anything.
That's weird enough, but some of the other stranger actions I noticed are as follows: There was not a single person wearing any sort of Pittsburgh sports gear. All the most bland, boring outfits imaginable. It was a saturday, 2pm game. There should have been plenty of Pirates fans watching the game and getting drunk with their buddies, but nope. Not one. Whenever the Pirates scored or did anything good, there was not a reaction from anybody. No cheers. No groans. It's like the game wasn't even on. Yet they were all glued to the screens watching it, while having these conversations with the bartender. The man from the old couple was the strangest. Every 5 minutes or so, he would walk over to the video slot machine right by my table and put in a $20 bill, and bet it all at once, losing every single time. He did this for probably an hour and a half. Towards the end of the game, he proceeded to walk over to the TouchTunes machine, put in a $20 bill, and put on the strangest, most vintage sounding dance music I've ever heard. Like, not any big names at all. Just very random, like a hole-in-the-wall ice cream social playlist of the most 1930s underground songs possible. For whatever reason, they had it so the TouchTunes took over the TV audio, so I could no longer hear the game. I guess it was a way to drive me out of there?
Finally, after a good half hour or so, the game ended, and the TouchTunes playlist was still going. It had been about 3 hours since I placed my order, the bartender never came to check in on me, nor give me my check. I went up to ask for the check myself, and she looked a little confused. Before giving me my check, she went over to the group of 5-6 people sitting at the end of the bar, said something to them, and they all proceeded to get up and walk out the back door together. She went back to the "kitchen", came out a few minutes later with my check, and I paid. I then left. I was already kinda uneasy and started to feel something was off, and when I left, one of the "strange people" at the end of the bar was outside the door and tried to strike up a conversation about Chicago or whatever, but I just mumbled a vague answer and got in my car and got out of there.
Did I walk in on a cult? A genuine mafia area? Drug ring?
EDIT: So based on some comments, what seems likely is I walked into the wrong spot, but thought it was the legit Pittsburgh Sports Bar with good reviews. Since its a generic name, I could have been directed on Maps to another "sports bar" close by that is actually a front, and just assumed it was the legit Pittsbugh Sports Bar.
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