I was on a walk, headphones in, totally in my own world. Suddenly, I hear a faint “Yo Gabe!” I take my headphones off look over and it’s my friend Trey, waving from near his apartment building. I walk over, we chat for a minute like normal.
Then he says, “Let me get you spiffed up,” and reaches out to adjust my collar. This is a thing he does, he’s weirdly into making sure everyone’s look is together, so I didn’t think much of it.
Then, without a single second of pause, he hits me with: “Hey, you wanna meet another one of my friends?”
Before I can even process the question, he turns and knocks on the door of the apartment next to his. It opens immediately (suspicious, right?). A woman I’ve never seen before steps out. Then another one of her roommates appears behind her. They’re both just… smiling at me.
Trey is beaming. The girl introduces herself, and I’m just standing there, my brain buffering. Then Trey, gestures to me and says to them, loud and proud: “He’s looking slick, isn’t he?”
I felt my soul leave my body from the cringe. I must have looked like a startled deer. That’s when one of the the roommates drops the bomb: “Yeah, we’ve heard a lot about you.”
I managed an awkward laugh and choked out, “Uh, was it good or bad?” They said, “Mostly from Trey, so good.”
I have never wanted the earth to swallow me whole more than in that moment. I mumbled something about having to go and practically power-walked away.
My theory on what the hell that was? I think it was a setup, but I don't think it was malicious. I have a pretty bold style, I stand out. I’m wondering if these neighbors had seen me around before, maybe mentioned to Trey they thought I was interesting or cool, and he decided to play the world’s worst wingman and engineer this "random" meet-cute.
The immediate door answer, the “spiffing up” right before, the “heard a lot about you”… it all points to a pre-planned ambush. He was trying to be a good friend, but the execution was so unbelievably awkward that I literally short-circuited and just stood there in silence for most of it.
Anyway, I guess I’m the talk of his neighbors apartment now. Thanks, Trey.
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