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UPDATE!! This is an update to:"my wife's best friend is developing feelings for me and my wife's doesn't believe me".

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Sitting in my lap:
This has only happened twice. Both instances were at parties where there was no seating left where I was sitting, I actually offered her my seat which she said thanks and sat on my lap. Yes both times were in front of my wife and she thought it was funny so rather then make a scene by kicking her off I waiting till an opportunity came (needed more food/drink, bathroom ect.)

Is she hot/am I attracted to her?:
By society standards she would be very attractive, by society standards my wife would not be as attractive. THAT BEING SAID , my wife is exactly what I want in a women (just speaking physically atm) my wife is short, very pale skin, long curly brown hair, and not skinny because of the children we have had together. I love my wife the way she is and we are working together to help her loose the babyfat she wants to lose. D on the other hand is taller then me I'm 5'10, tan skin, straight dirty blonde hair, and skinny. Again attractive, just not what I'm into.

Okay now for the update:
Talked to my wife about everything going on and my concerns about it, using some points people brought up in commants. Turns out my wife IS aware of the situation and is actually partially behind it. Apparently she brought up the idea of "using me" to show her best friend what to look for in a guy was a good idea, but has gone a little farther then she thought it would. Forgive her she had good intentions. So we are both going to sit down with D and talk about everything next time she comes over.

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