I’m a 28-year-old African woman working as a teacher. I’m not rich, but I’m stable. Since I started earning, I’ve been expected to help my extended family—groceries, school fees, sending money to my mom, bills, and more. In our culture, it’s called “Black tax,” and I understood it growing up. I helped where I could. But lately, it’s too much. My siblings expect me to cover everything, and my mom never says no to them. I was even asked to contribute to a cousin’s wedding. Meanwhile, I’ve drained my savings, missed chances, and lived paycheck to paycheck—while others buy new phones and clothes. I finally said no. I’m saving for therapy, travel, and a deposit for my own place. I told my family I’m not a bank. I’ll help with needs, not everything. My mom cried, my aunt called me whitewashed, and my brother said I’m selfish. But I’ve spent years putting them first. I still love them—but I’m tired of carrying everyone. Am I really the bad guy for finally choosing myself?
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