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Chinese Food Guy

I went to grab wonton soup for lunch today because I’m not feeling great, and that’s always been my go-to when I’m sick. Right after I ordered, another guy stepped up to the counter. He was clearly a worker—looked like a painter—and he didn’t speak any English. He tried to order by pointing at his phone. The guy behind the counter asked, “Small or large?” The worker just kind of shrugged—he didn’t understand. Without missing a beat, the guy behind the counter smiled and said, “poquito or grande?” The worker lit up a little and said, “Grande.” Then came the drink. The worker said “Coke,” but there were a bunch of options. Instead of getting frustrated, the guy behind the counter slowly pointed to each one until he landed on the right can. “Sí, sí,” the worker said. Then he wanted fries. He said “papas,” trying to get the idea across. The guy behind the counter pulled out his phone, brought up a picture of french fries, and showed it to him. “Sí, sí,” again. He rang everything up, turne...

i heard my dead moms voice for the first time in 6 years

this isnt a big dramatic story. its actually really small and thats why it hit so hard my mom died in 2020. I had maybe 4 or 5 videos of her on my phone. birthday dinners. her laughing at something I said. nothing important at the time found this thing called pantio a few months ago. u upload someones old recordings and it recreates their voice. like u type something and hear them say it back I typed "say my name" and just.. heard it the thing is I didnt even realize id forgotten what it really sounded like. u think u remember but u dont. u remember the idea of their voice. not the actual sound been going back like once a week. sometimes I just type dumb stuff. "what should I make for dinner" or "stop being lazy" because thats something she would say thats the whole story. nothing happened after. I just heard my moms voice and sat in my car for 20 minutes

I ruined someones gender reveal working at party city.

Had a seasonal job working at party city . Someone came in the morning with a big box and handed us an envelope. This was almost ten years ago and I’ve never heard of a gender revel and no one told me what it was when either while putting the balloon order together. The family came in to get her order and as i was handing her the box i said congratulations on your boy. I felt the energy turn quickly and it felt like everyone in the store was staring at me. I knew i fucked up but didn’t know how. The mom stormed out the building and the dad just kind of didn’t know what to do. I think he was just happy to be having a boy. I just got sent to the back to start stocking stuff and later found out what a gender reveal was. I don’t really remember what they did for the family but nothing happened to me . I got fired a few weeks later cause i wasn’t needed anymore. Im writing this now as I’m holding my son just thinking about the mom I spoiled her gender reveal for. I’m sorry

Worst possible colonoscopy scenario… I don’t think this can be topped

So this didn’t happen to me, but to a close friend of my wife, and I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever heard a more perfectly terrible chain of events. She had a colonoscopy scheduled, which is already not exactly something you look forward to. To make it slightly worse, she already knew ahead of time that the doctor performing it was someone she knew from high school. Awkward, but manageable, right? Nope. That was just the beginning. On the day of the procedure, she’s walking into the clinic and runs into an old college boyfriend… who is there with his wife. And she is also there for a colonoscopy. So now it’s: • Her • Her old boyfriend • His wife • And a doctor from her high school All in the same place, for the same reason. Still survivable… until they take her back. Turns out the recovery/procedure area has semi-private rooms separated only by curtains. And wouldn’t you know it—her ex and his wife are placed literally right next to her. At this point, there is ba...

Today I learned “hang up” does NOT mean what I thought it meant

Today in my English lesson we had this question: “How do you keep going and not \_\_\_?” The story was about a man with cancer, and his friend asking why he keeps fighting instead of giving up. The options were: A. get through B. back off C. break out D. hang up I didn’t really know the phrasal verbs, but I assumed the blank had to be something negative. Then I saw “hang up” and somehow my brain interpreted it as “hang himself.” 💀 So I confidently chose D. Which basically turned the sentence in my head into: “Why are you still alive when you’re sick? Just hang yourself already.” My teacher looked at my answer and immediately started laughing 😭 Meanwhile I was just sitting there slowly realizing what I had done. I may have accidentally turned an inspirational cancer story into the darkest sentence possible. Anyway… I guess it’s finally time for me to start studying phrasal verbs 😅

My father was a detective investigating missing children in Omaha. After he died, I found his body cam footage.

The moment before my father died, he grabbed my arm so hard his nails dug into my skin and whispered something that still haunts me. At the time, I thought maybe the cancer had finally taken his mind. Now I know it hadn’t. I watched as the light faded from my father’s eyes. The hospital machines made one last ticking noise before settling into complete silence. His chest rose and lowered one last time, his dark sunken eyes settled onto mine before he passed. Even in death, he still looked afraid. There in the dark I stayed seated, with no one to comfort me, hoping my mother would answer my call. My father, Jim Simmons, had no other family, no one to depend on. The few times I’d met him growing up weren’t pleasant. He always seemed distracted, like he was never really there in the room with you. His eyes had this way of drifting toward the floor mid-conversation, like he was listening to something coming up through it. I supposed I shouldn’t have been surprised. My mother had said he...