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Costco Hates Loungers

So there I was at Costco. Minding my own business with a friend who was shopping for party supplies. I had already grabbed what I needed, while his cart had a long way to go. Earlier in the trip, we had passed a massage chair display. I decided that since I was done shopping, I’d relax in the display chair for a bit to pass the time while I wait for my friend. First of all, this chair reclined far too much. I was nearly horizontal by the time it was “in position”. I’d like it to be known, however, that I was not blocking any shopping lanes in the slightest. I even made a point of moving my cart to the nearby electronics area, which was empty the whole time I was in Costco. Secondly, the massage was awful. It felt like someone was rolling 3 croquet balls across my upper back. Really not comfortable, but I figured I’d ride it out until my friend was finished shopping. I got my phone out and began to browse Reddit. Not five minutes later, a lady walks by me and begins loudly talking wit...
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[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ] submitted by /u/UniversityNearby8158 [link] [comments]
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I agreed to a fake date and accidentally met my husband

A friend begged me to go with her brother to a wedding because his ex would be there and he didn’t want to show up alone. I said yes mostly because there was free food. We agreed beforehand to keep it simple. Hold hands if necessary, smile for photos, absolutely no weird fake relationship stuff. Then halfway through dinner, he leaned over and whispered, “This is going suspiciously well.” I laughed so hard I nearly spit out my wine. We ended up dancing until the venue closed. The next morning he texted, “So, when do we stop pretending?” That was five years ago. We still joke that our first date had a dress code and 120 witnesses. submitted by /u/Sea_Assist7782 [link] [comments]
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Dom Tom does not lose.

I spent 5 years in prison for assault. Overall it wasn't that bad, you keep your head down and do the occasional favor like buying chips for your group and all is good. Of course there's the occasional new blood that comes in looking to start a fight for some respect or the rival gang that has one of its members disrespected looking to get even, fighting would happen at least once a week. I'd fight too for cigarettes and gym rights but when I look back on it now I regret it. Not to mention the after effects that came with it, once you start fighting in there everybody wants a shot at you to earn some respect. From what I saw thought nobody could go the distance, the second a guy started fighting he'd get picked apart by the other tough guys until he couldn't fight no more and got beat up. It was a gauntlet that nobody (myself included) could survive. You win some you lose some that's how life went in our yard... Then Tom Arrived, and everything changed. Tom sho...
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I stalk people for a living. Here’s what most people get wrong about it.

I work as a stalker. Believe me or don't. And no, I don't call myself that because it sounds dramatic. It's simply the most accurate description of what I do. When I tell people about it, one of two things usually happens. Some laugh because they think I'm joking. Others start asking questions I have no intention of answering. Almost everyone imagines the same thing - some guy in a hoodie standing outside his ex-girlfriend's window at night, taking pictures on his phone and sending hundreds of messages. Reality is much more boring than that. That's exactly why it works. If the person you're watching knows you exist, you've already done something wrong. No chases. No men in black suits. No tinted cars sitting across from the same apartment building for a week. Most of the time, nothing happens at all. You just slowly learn somebody else's life. At first it seems chaotic. Then you start noticing repetition. Everyone has it. One person buys coffee from...
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I refuse to have sex with my partner

so I have been with my partner going on three years. in the beginning it was all fun and dandy, you know, the “honeymoon phase” of course we had sex often originally and then it slowed down dramatically during the first half of the first year. I didn’t understand why? And it concerned me only because she teases me SO MUCH and finds it very fun to do so, but then she will deflect any advances. Which confused me and also felt very hurtful. I’ve tried having this talk with her many times over and I always get different answers and she always gets upset. “Well maybe I’m not attracted to you” or “i don’t know why I do it, but I just think it’s fun” or many other reasonings. fast forward to today. She initiated sex for the first time in forever and when I asked her why she had done that? Keep in mind I love her to DEATH, I’m ok if we don’t have sex honestly, I’ve come to terms with that. but she responded “well you do so much for me, I feel like I owe you. Even though I don’t want to have s...
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Either Your The Smartest Drug Dealer I Ever Met Or…

Many years ago I was in the middle of a very nasty Custody battle. My kids mother was unstable to start with, then she started taking drugs which made her go off the edge. while at work I stepped outside to smoke a cigarette. There was a Police Officer walking around my truck. I asked if I could help him. Officer replied that someone called in a report that a person was observed putting something on the truck then driving away. I knew immediately what was going on. My ex had previously vandalized my truck and my house. She left what she thought were drugs on my porch and under my rear bumper and under the gas flap. The woman who sold her the “Drugs” told me that the brown powder in the small plastic bags was Coco powder and the White powder was crushed drywall. They were portioned out so it would appear that I was selling them. The Marajuana was real, and I never found out what the white pills were. She told me this because they had a falling out shortly after they both got released f...
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