I think my life is going to change a lot, restarting from scratch within a few weeks. No money, no prospects. Approaching my thirties. Moving back to my home country. I have been surviving the past decade and never lived. I have the determination and strength to start all over again, but I am so exhausted that I don't know if I want to do it anymore. Asking people on Reddit to share some positive stories where they felt like there was no way they could survive and the only logical step was to give up on everything, but they eventually picked up all the broken pieces and made something out of it.
I sleep in my own bed, separately from my wife with the exception of our “conjugal” visits. She’s always been accommodating of my solo sleeping, because she likes a warm room that is as silent as a crypt, and I like a room with the windows thrown open and a fan on. This noise drowns out my tinnitus (from shooting in the military) and the cold room is pleasant. What my wife doesn’t know, is that I secretly leave the house 3 nights a week, sometimes 4. I leave to ride my bicycle around the city at night, sometimes putting in 50-75 miles per ride. I wait until everyone in my house is asleep, usually about 10pm is a safe bet. I sneak into the yard, walk the bike to the street, and start riding. Ive made friends that are only out and about after dark. I’m friends with a striped cat that sleeps on an old broken RV in an alleyway and she lets me pick her up now. I love riding by the bakery, where people are preparing for the next morning and moving ingredients in and out of a big fluoresc...