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If you need reasons to use birth control, let me tell you my last 24 hours

My day started at 6:20 this morning with a message from my daughter’s teacher about a field trip that was happening THAT MORNING. Before I continue, I do want to give her teacher some credit because she absolutely didn’t have to reach out that early, but she went out of her way to make sure my daughter didn’t miss out. Unfortunately, this left me with less than 40 minutes before the bus arrived, which is when my daughter decided that because it’s almost summertime, a swimsuit top was an acceptable school outfit. Now call me crazy, but if my child is going to be outside in the Colorado sun all day, I’d prefer she wear an actual shirt. Apparently this made me a tyrant. Then came the sunscreen argument because protecting your child from turning into a lobster is apparently an attack on their freedom. While trying to solve that crisis, my boys launched a full criminal investigation because my daughter had a sticker. Their evidence that she stole one of theirs? Absolutely none. Their confi...
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I was forced to cover for my brother’s double life for 14 years. When I finally stopped, I lost my family

When I was 10, my mom moved abroad for work and I went to live with my older brother, “B”. She died 2 years later, and I ended up staying with him until I was 26. I’m the youngest of 4. B was always the golden child. I just accepted that growing up. At first, the deal was simple: I’d do the cooking, cleaning, shopping, and he’d handle the bills. But “handling the bills” meant managing his affairs with multiple women. When B’s wife, “SIL”, got pregnant with their second kid, he set up a system. Every weekend, he sent SIL and the kids to her parents’ place with me. The house was empty so he could bring women over. During the week, he played the perfect husband and father. I started noticing things that didn’t add up. Women’s clothes, missing groceries, him sneaking in at dawn. When I said I was tired of the weekend trips and wanted to stay home, he couldn’t stop me. That’s when it blew up in my face. I worked factory shifts. On my days off, I started going out with coworkers. One night ...
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I accidentally let a drunk girl sleep on my chest, and now I can’t stop thinking about her (part 4)

I was lying on my bed, wondering if I should go to the frat party or just stay home and chill. My dorm was surprisingly clean after Kylie practically forced me to clean it. I really liked Kylie, but she was hella annoying sometimes. She’d said she was gonna stop by later so we could go to the gym together. I seriously didn’t wanna go. But the party… Should I go? I mean, I already saw the drunk girl one last time, so what was even the point of going? Still… I really, really wanted to see her again. As I lay there thinking, my roommate Jerry walked in. “Oh wow,” he said, looking around the room. “This place is unusually clean.” “Yeah, I did a little cleanup,” I replied. He thanked me for it and told me that him and the boys were gonna go grab dinner at a restaurant later. I was about to say no, like I always did, but then I realized something. If I went with them, I wouldn’t have to go to the gym with Kylie later. So I said yes. “Really?” he asked, genuinely shocked. “Yes, really. I’m s...
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I accidentally let a drunk girl sleep on my chest and now I can’t stop thinking about her

I was standing alone in the party in a corner. The music was loud, I could barely hear my own voice. Everyone was drinking, I wasn’t. Everyone was smoking weed, I wasn’t. I simply decided not to get toxicated that night. After all I’m here against my will. My friends begged me to come and they brought me here forcefully. And I haven’t seen them for the past 2 hours. Then a random guy I’ve never seen in my entire life leans his elbow on my shoulder. He was so drunk, he points at a girl from across the room and says ‘yo bro -barfs- that girl is is is is eye fucking u duuuuddee haha…. -hiccup- lucky u” then he walks away. The girl saw him pointing right at her. She blushed but she never looked away. We kept eye contact for a few seconds, then I ctook my eyes off. I’m not dealing with this. It’s not going anywhere anyways, just pointless eye fucking….. ok I’ll look at her one last time. As soon as look at her direction I see her walking up to me. Oh shit! This is not good. I’m so not read...
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I work in law enforcement. My partner and I just lied on an official police report because nobody would believe what we shot at tonight.

I work the graveyard patrol in a jurisdiction where the trees outnumber the people ten thousand to one. It is a vast, deeply isolated county dominated by dense pine forests, winding dirt logging routes, and sprawling properties owned by people who value extreme privacy. You get used to the quiet. You learn to appreciate the long hours of driving through pitch-black roads with nothing but the hum of the engine and the dashboard lights to keep you company. But the extreme isolation also means that when something goes wrong out here, help is a very long way away. My partner and I were parked near a deserted county intersection, drinking lukewarm coffee from thermos flasks, when the radio mounted on the dashboard crackled to life. The dispatcher’s voice broke through the static. She was a veteran operator, someone who usually handled horrific car accidents and domestic disputes with a flat, unwavering calm. Tonight, her voice was entirely different. Her tone was elevated, tight with genui...
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A man’s story to me about his son encapsulates the crazy minds of people today

Context: This took place a few weeks ago. I’m a 30s M army vet, so I’ve got some thick skin. People can have their views, opinions, or whatever. Just be a decent person. I was at a small birthday party for a friend; maybe 10-15 people. They had just moved into their new house on a small plot of land and the neighbors on each side shows up. One was a late 60s white man. Well dressed and spoken. We sat and talk for a while and he was well educated. He started telling me about his two sons… They were both around 40, both quite successful in their respective fields. The older one, A, was a VP for some company and had a mentality similar to his dad, the man I’ve been talking with. Then he starts to tell me about the younger one, B… This son B has been married almost 20 years (around age 20), is a military lieutenant colonel and pilot, and described by his dad as not only a tough MFer that can withstand tons of pain, but also compassionate. Literally described one of the best people I’ve ev...
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That time my grandma tried to set me up with our waiter (I was not his type).

Several years ago I was at dinner with my whole family, parents, brother, grandparents. Our waiter was extremely attractive. Broad shoulders, well dressed, well groomed hair, cute smile, sweet personality, EXTREMELY FEMININE. My grandma uncharacteristically had a margarita at dinner and starts bumping my shoulder and smiling coyly at me saying, “Oh, OP, isn’t he cute? He seems about your age!” I was like “grandma I don’t think I’m his type” which she took as a challenge, apparently. Every time this poor dude came by my grandma is talking me up, “Oh my grand daughter thinks you’re so cute! Shes in college you know? Very smart girl. Isn’t she beautiful? Yeah, she won’t be single for very long.” I would have been cringing under the table but our waiter caught on to what was happening and played her up! He starts winking at me, flirtatiously waving at me across the restaurant, when he brings me more water he says, “for my future girlfriend” and “for the most beautiful girl in the room” ...
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