First dates in 2026 are something I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. I’ve been on quite a few this year, and I swear it’s like each one was worse than the last. That’s why, when my date last week was actually going pretty well, I allowed myself to feel a little bit of hope. We matched on Tinder, of course, because where else would we have met? She only had like three photos on her profile, which, not gonna lie, made me a bit suspicious that she was a bot. In actuality, she happened to be the most sparkling conversationalist I’ve ever come across on one of those apps. It wasn’t until last week that I finally got to meet her in person. We’d literally FaceTimed every night after matching, but I was still preparing myself to be catfished. I don’t know. I’m paranoid. With a racing mind and heart, I waited in the parking lot of the restaurant for her to show up. Finally, I got the text. We found each other and, to my relief, she wasn’t just the same woman from the photos. She looked even ...
I’m a roll-off garbage truck driver. The transfer station at my yard only handles cardboard, but people hide garbage underneath it. The station separates the garbage and puts it into a 40-yard bin. The place has a massive rat problem. I actually hate dumping even cardboard there because there are rats running everywhere. And these aren’t little rats, they’re fucking huge. I rarely ever dump that 40-yard bin. Today, the guy loaded it onto my truck, I tarped it and headed to another transfer station. On the highway, I look in my mirror and see the two cars behind me swerving all over the road. Then I realize rats are jumping out of my bin and onto the highway. It was literally a scene straight out of a fucking movie. Rats flying out of the bin, cars swerving everywhere, and me sitting there wondering what the hell I had just unleashed. I get to the other transfer station and now I have to open the doors. I was fucking pissing myself. I smack the doors open and sprint back to my truck. L...